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Five Quirky Quips From Wonderfully Wacky Simon Doonan

Illustration for article titled Five Quirky Quips From Wonderfully Wacky Simon Doonan

Barneys creative director Simon Doonan is profiled in WWD today. He's got a new book, Eccentric Glamour (one chapter is called "Say No to Ho"), and his interview is chock full of amusing witticisms and quippy bon mots, especially if you recall that he says it all in a crisp British accent. Of convincing Donatella Versace to stand in the window of Barneys New York for ten minutes, Simon says: "I told her it would be like an aquarium." He claims he came out of the womb totally and obviously gay: "I was flitting around the house like a Russian ballerina. I think my parents were just glad I wasn't a schizophrenic." On Hillary Clinton and her wardrobe: "She looks entirely appropriate. I don't want a politician who is going to wear a backless Dior gown. I don't want a politician who's thinking about fashion for even one millisecond. It's the same as medical professionals. The idea of a person in a Comme des Garçons humpback dress giving me a colonoscopy is just not groovy."


On plastic surgery:

"I am completely opposed to it. I understand it with performers who might want to extend their careers, but the whole concept of being anti-aging is very questionable to me. Regular people torturing their faces, it's nasty. Learn to glue on false eyelashes. Don't become Jocelyn Wildenstein when you can be Louise Nevelson."


As for what Doonan plans to do as an old man, he says: "Maybe I'll become Amy Winehouse. I want to take back the night for senior citizens."

Funny Face [WWD]

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Please allow me to further excerpt part of the article:

Here's how the conversation goes when Adler calls Doonan up on his cell phone.

To Adler: "Hey, Johnny, I'm here with a reporter doing our WWD profile. Can I call you back?"

To me: "He said, 'Oh, smell you, you fat little bitch.'"

To him: "Darling, maybe you should say, 'Smell you, you fat little dwarf.' It sounds less hostile. Otherwise, they'll think you're just nasty and misogynistic and they'll never buy your ceramics again. Career over.... Exactly. Mmm hmm. Bye bye. See you later, you aging little piglet."