Finally, an App to Help Men Measure Their Erect Penises

Men: have you always wanted to measure the length of your erect penis and see how it compares to penis length around the world? Well, there’s an app for that.

VSM Enterprises, which created the “Condom Size” app, available for Droid and iPhones, claims it’s all, or mostly, about safe sex. According to its website, “This app educates the male population on the proper condom placement and helps determine proper condom size.” It offers easy-to-follow instructions for how to measure your penis.

For length:

Step 1: Hold hard member straight against inches or cm on sides of screen.
Step 2: Measure at the base of your member. Mark how long it is from the base all the way to the tip.

For girth, it’s a little bit more involved:

Step 1: Use a piece of string or soft measuring tape and measure around your member.
Step 2: Straighten out the string and measure from the end of your device to the end of the string.”

I know what you’re probably thinking: Couldn’t you just use said soft measuring tape? Yes, but then you would be deprived of the full app experience:

The app also includes educational condom tips, fun facts and more.

With this app you will be able to very easily determine your condom size through step by step instructions, find out exact details and sizes of over 30 condoms, purchase condoms, access educational condom tips and view a ton of fun facts about condoms!

Results will give you the following:
✔ Your Recommended Condom Size
✔ Your Recommended Condom Type
✔ Your Length world Ranking
✔ Your Girth World Ranking

Something makes us think that the world ranking will “arouse” the most curiosity among users. And there’s the risk of a globalized penis-envy epidemic. But if men want to measure their penises on their phone so they can find better condoms, more power to them. Just don’t be offended if we don’t ask to borrow your phones.

iPhone app designed to let men compare penis size with the rest of the world released in App Store [TNT Magazine]