Fifty Shades of Santa Is Clear Proof That Santa Is a Kinky Sex Hound

What's that in your sack, Santa? Is that a butt plug? Oh. It's a butt plug. Okay. Thanks, I guess.

If you are already somewhat creeped out by Santa, I suggest you skip the above video, which features a somewhat menacing St. Nick — OK, he's always kind of menacing — either terrorizing or tantalizing a young woman (can't tell; think that's the point) with a bag full of goodies from Lion's Den, an adult superstore that dares call itself such even though they don't have a giant mechanical penis for visitors to ride upon.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to block all the vents in my home so this guy doesn't get in.

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The Gaysian

Santa baby, I'll be your ho ho ho... I'll take those frosted flakes off your hands... Bet your sack is full because you only come once a year...

Make sure you kiss under this mistletoe.