Female Drug Cartels Prove Women Can Be Just as Good at Mass Murder as Men

Illustration for article titled Female Drug Cartels Prove Women Can Be Just as Good at Mass Murder as Men

Hooray! Girl power! A new generation of female leaders of Mexican drug cartels are proving that women are just as capable of being bloodthirsty sociopaths with no regard for human life or decency as their male counterparts! You've come a long way, baby.

According to the AFP, while women have progressed through the world of business and politics at a pace that would make a snail mutter a string of expletives and lay on its horn (for the sake of argument, let's assume that snails can drive tiny, slow cars and that they're frustrated by traffic jams and that they're familiar with fancy swearing), they're advancing decidedly fast through the bloody world of drug trafficking, often to the great benefit of their respective crime organizations.

There's a reason for this — America's "War on Drugs" has led to Mexico's "War For Drugs," an unending and terrifyingly violent struggle between cartels that has resulted in the death of more than 50,000 people in the last 6 years. And drug kingpins have a short life expectancy. As the old men were mowed down, younger men moved to take their place in leadership positions. And after they've been killed off, women who had been observers — wives, girlfriends, daughters, mothers — take the reins, often with terrifying results. The author of a new book on female drug cartel leaders notes that with women in charge, cartels are more difficult to fight because, as leaders, they are "acting smarter" than men. In some cases, they're able to use their sex appeal to manipulate men, or trick authorities into overlooking them because tits.


Woo hoo! Ten points for ladies! Girls rule at drugs!

Many women who now find themselves running things started aiding their families in the manufacture of illegal substances. Extracting heroin from poppies requires "delicate handling" (apparently men can't be taught to handle things delicately), and female traffickers are seen as less suspicious than male traffickers. So women move up from lowly runners, poppy squeezers, and "narco-diplomacy" into operations as the men above them die.

The AFP article notes that as of last fall, 46 female narco kingpins — or, uh, queenpins — have been arrested by Mexican authorities, and in the US, more than 2,100 women have been nabbed for drug trafficking.

We've made it, you guys. Feminism has won.


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Yeah, I'm just gonna leave this here...FWIW, I *hated* this novela for ultra-glamorizing what is undoubtedly an ugly, violent, and destructive profession; one which wreaks as much havoc on the person who practices it as on the lives of that person's intended victims. I can only say this: my native homeland's relationship with the drug trade is about as complicated and contradictory as its views on and relationship with women. While your average citizen may have vehemently negative views about narcos for all of the damage they've caused, there are entire towns that are indebted and utterly grateful to drug-running families for providing incredibly basic necessities that the government should provide for but did not, like running water, electricity, and even schools.

Now, I'm not saying these women aren't criminals, and I'm certainly not agreeing with what they have been accused of doing, but there's more to the story and it is by no means black and white.