Farts are funny! In fact, just yesterday a certain Jezebel sister site passed on word (Hee hee! We said "passed") that Gawker Media contributor/blogger Slut Machine farted during sex for the first time. (Congratulations, Slut!) According to Slut Machine's blog (NSFW), she was simply doing her thing with her main man and poof: Out it came. But farts at the gym? Not so funny, we hear!
I was kicking ass on the treadmill at the gym, and was totally in the zone. It was awesome! Then, it hit my nostrils like a bee smacking the glass door. Worse even, it was one of those thick stanky rotten egg laced with some skunk clouds that you can practically taste and my mouth was open. Major disgusting! I gagged some and had to put my towel over my nose and mouth until the fart twister moved to the south.
That description — "major disgusting" even by our pathetic standards — comes courtesy of Stephanie Quilao, the blogger behind the blog Back In Skinny Jeans. Stephanie was so repulsed by the fart she encountered, that instead of, you know, simply switching machines, she stuck around to try and figure out who the culprit was.
Directly next to me was a tiny zaftig Mexican woman about 5'2" about late 40's-early 50's. I wanna call her Rosa. Next to her one treadmill apart was a tall Black man about 6'1" about my dad's age who looked like he could be Bill Cosby's cousin on his dad's side. I'll call him Frank.
(God, we just love it when people describe any black man over the age of 50 as resembling Bill Cosby. It's as if their ingrained fear of African-American males is replaced by nostalgia for multi-colored sweater-knits and 80s TV the minute a bald spot or grey hair is added to the mix.) Anyway, back to the topic at hand: Farts! Apparently they not only kill the mood in bed but at the gym. And women seem to be disproportionately disgusted/embarrassed by them. No more! Today is the day to clear the air, if you will! So take our poll, or, if your experience has not been adequately represented, (over)share in the comments — we can't think of everything, you know.