Fake Titstimonials: We Asked, You Answered

Illustration for article titled Fake Titstimonials: We Asked, You Answered

Today's New York Times Thursday Styles follows up its story about possibly narcissistic kids with one about narcissistic women, or rather, how breast implants, unlike diamonds, won't last forever. (Yes, we know that not all breast implant recipients are narcissists.) Dr. Linda Huang, a Denver plastic surgeon, charges $5,000 to remove implants and roughly $7,500 to replace old ones and snarks, "If they would rather spend their money on a trip to Paris than on me, then I recommend they do not have breast augmentation to begin with." The Times story reminded us of a post from the other day, on which many readers admitted to riding the silicone wave. "I got fake tits last year to correct their asymmetry [and] I feel heaps better now that I am symmetrical. I have silicone gel implants and while they are harder than natural, they aren't rocks. Just 'firm,'" said one commenter. Said another: "I had that condition where your boobs are more long than round (my Dr. said aprox 20% of women have it) and part of getting it corrected entailed getting fake boobs put in. Did wonders for my self esteem & body image, no regrets whatsoever."


And not all of you breasty babes got implants because of "conditions" or "asymmetries." "I'm 5'11 190lbs and they are 38D from a 38AA. They are proportioned and look swell," said one enthusiast. "They feel great. I Love 'em. He loves 'em. That is all." But it's not all sunshine and lollipops for women with under the skin strap-ons!

I got mine courtesy of an abusive ex boyfriend who REALLY wanted me to have them. I was against them and had previously made fun of people with them, but at the time he had me feeling about one-inch tall and also had me under the impression that he was my only friend in the world. After 4 months of mentioning it to me daily, I agreed to go to a consult just to get him to shut up about it. The doctor (also Dolly Parton & Cher's doc), was really nice, but also convinced me that I had (previously un-noticed) assymetry by an entire cup size. Long story short, the ex wanted them so bad he agreed to pay for them if I would get them - I agreed because at the time I would have done anything to make him happy (what was WRONG with me!?), and now I have fake tits. They're not so bad. If I had a ton of money, I would remove them just because of the horrible person who's suggestion this was for me to have them. But overall, they're not bad. I was blown away (horrified) by the difference in positive attention I started getting from men from the second I got my new boobs.

Oh c'mon, we're sure the attention wasn't just because of the new tatters! We bet dudes just loved gazing at you because of your great, big, round personality.

Do My Breast Implants Have A Warranty? [New York Times]

Earlier: Heidi Montag Explains What It's Really Like Having Breast Implants



One thing I learned from an x-ray technician was that you can't see through an implant in an x-ray. You could easily have breast cancer and a doctor might not be able to detect it because of the implants. Strangely enough, I was getting a chest x-ray before I was going in for a reduction. Long story short I had pneumonia and didn't get the surgery.