Another day in paradise!
Here’s all the shit we couldn’t cover today:
- In the midst of the Anthony Scaramucci/Reince Priebus dude fight that spilled into the New Yorker’s cock-filled report yesterday, it also came to light that Scaramucci has a special nickname for Priebus: Reince Penis. Yes, Reince Penis. The United States of America is currently being run by men who have the same comic sensibilities as a 13-year-old boy. [Daily Beast]
- Speaking of Reince Priebus, Donald Trump wants to hire a “general” to replace Reince Priebus. [The Hill]
- Apparently, everyone hates Reince Priebus. [Politico]
- Update: Since initially publishing this post, Trump has, in fact, replaced Reince Priebus with a general. In a tweet, Trump announced that John F. Kelly, until recently the head of Homeland Security, is the new White House Chief of Staff. No announcement has been made about Priebus’s firing. [Twitter]
- Meanwhile, Scaramucci’s wife, Deidre Ball, has filed for divorce. According to a person, she is “fed up with his ruthless quest to get close to President Trump, whom she despises.” Okay. [Page Six]
- Kellyanne Conway weighed-in on the dude fight. She looks very tan. [LA Times]
- In a private meeting hours after the Republican-controlled Senate failed to pass the so-called “skinny repeal,” Paul Ryan read an excerpt from Gordon Lightfoot’s smooth seventies hit “The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald,” a song about sailors perishing in Lake Superior. According to Politico, Ryan “likened the tune to what he deemed the Senate’s tragic failure to repeal Obamacare.” I love this story so much. [Politico]
- But Paul Ryan is fine, he’s looking ahead to tax reform. In an interview with Fox News, Ryan said that Republicans are more unified on the issue of tax reform than they were on health care. [NBC News]
- Senator Lindsay Graham met with Trump to discuss another Obamacare replacement proposal. [The Hill]
- John McCain will return to Arizona to begin radiation and chemotherapy treatments. [Associated Press]
- North Korea fired another missile. [Washington Post]
- Here’s an interesting profile of a handful of Trump voters who don’t believe that Russia interfered with the American election. [NPR]
- The hosts of Fox & Friends are parodying themselves. [Talking Points Memo]
Here are some tweets the President was allowed to publish:
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This has been Barf Bag.