Ever Been In Love With Someone & Hated His Guts At The Same Time?

Illustration for article titled Ever Been In Love With Someone  Hated His Guts At The Same Time?

According to a story reported yesterday by Reuters, scientists now know why there is a thin line between love and hate. Apparently in brain scans, people shown images of individuals they hated revealed a pattern of brain activity partly in the area also activated by romantic love. This is according to Semir Zeki and John Paul Romaya of University College London. But what I'd like to ask Zeki and Romaya is this: How come sometimes love can turn into hate? See, I a while back, I had this boyfriend:Believe me, we're broken up now. But it was one of those super-stoopid, on-again-off-again, drama-filled relationships. I loved him, sure. But when we were fighting, which was often, I hated him. I wanted to stick a fork in his eyeball and kick him in the groin. Instead I just yelled at him, or hung up the phone. I don't know if it's because of my brain's "hate circuit," as Zeki and Romaya call it. I know that passion is passion — be it passionate hate or passionate love. But how is it that some people manage to flip both switches at the same time? And why is it that some people — not me, but others I know, in similar situations — find that they can't help but be drawn to a love that's got more than a little bit of hate in it? Thin Line Between Love And Hate? - Science Knows Why [Reuters]


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This describes my last serious relationships before meeting the husband. The love was like nothing I'd (previously) experienced but Jay-zus, sometimes it was a pure-dee hate fest. He made me completely irrational but I adored him to my core. I left him because of 1) his selfishness 2) his need for me to mother him 3) his complete lack of interest in children. When I finally moved out, after threatening for months, through the tears (really!?) he choked, "We should have had a child!" OH NO YOU DIDN'T. Ugh. Seven years have passed, and although a little flicker of love remains, I am happily married and better off away from him.