Entenmann's Recalls Plastic-Laced Cookies I Would Still Maybe Eat

Entenmann’s has recalled their Little Bites Soft Baked Cookies due to the fact that that a few customers would rather their desserts not contain plastic, which has caused me to face some hard truths about myself and my willingness to risk choking on plastic for the joy of eating slightly-better-than-average-tasting grocery store cookies.

Strange bits of blue plastic are reportedly popping up in the Little Bites, leading the company to recall the cookies in 37 states. Though no injuries have been reported, the plastic could pose a choking hazard. But if you’re an Entenmann’s fan, this might not even be your first run-in with plastic-dotted miniature baked goods. Back in September 2016, the company recalled Little Bites Muffins contaminated with plastic due to faulty equipment at its Illinois bakery.

Entenmann’s is encouraging consumers who purchased the contaminated cookies to return them uneaten to the place of purchase. That’s solid advice, as plastic is generally not considered edible. But to be perfectly honest, if it’s 10 pm and I’m in my jammies trying to eat tiny Entenmann’s cookies in front of my stories, I would seriously consider simply picking out the plastic and eating the cookie anyway. Most grocery store baked goods are garbage, and Entenmann’s makes some of the only pre-packaged cookies I actually enjoy eating, plastic or no. Plus, in this scenario, it’s late, the grocery store is far away, and these are the only sweets available to me. This plastic cookie question is a Kobayashi maru that I am thankful has heretofore only been a hypothetical, as I am ashamed of what it might lead me to do.

Thankfully, the bad batch of cookies was made on a dedicated production line, so your crumb cakes and powdered doughnuts are probably not going to force you to question your values.