Eleven months after announcing their split, Kris Jenner and Bruce Jenner are officially getting divorced — Kris filed the paperwork on Monday. RIP, America's favorite (?) couple. We will all miss watching Bruce make vaguely annoyed faces while Kris swoops about, scouring the face of earth for attention.
According to TMZ, there was no lawyer, but everything has been worked out with business managers. There was no prenup, but the two have agreed upon a property split (Bruce gets to keep the remote-controlled helicopters; Kris gets to keep the attention). They will share joint custody of Kylie, 17, with the website Tumblr.com. The divorce is "totally amicable," says a source.
And thus ends this chapter in our national fever dream. [TMZ]
James Franco...... wrote poetry.......... about other celebrities...... including Lindsay Lohan. It is just as you'd imagine — i.e., a poem from Lindsay's perspective lamenting the fact that James Franco did not have sex with her. Sample line: "He didn't fuck me, that shit." The deepest circle of hell is the world just as James Franco imagines it. (More poems at the link, unfortunately.) [ONTD]
Jon Hamm told his girlfriend Jennifer Westfeldt how Mad Men ends. Jennifer Westfeldt holds the sum of our human joys and sorrows in her hand. Every day, she has to fight the urge to go up to strangers and shout, "DON DRAPER DIES IN THE END AND PETE CAMPBELL'S HAIRLINE CONTINUES RECEDING ETERNALLY!!!!" A grave responsibility. [Us Magazine]
- Ethan Hawke and Laura Dern just found out that they are cousins. [ONTD]
- Here is a photo of Ed Sheeran and Niall Horan alternatively kissing one another on the face, thus proving that they are friendly affable bros and not rival affable bros. So much plaid, so much homosocial bonding. [ONTD]
- YESSSSS: AN UPDATE ON THE HILARY DUFF/AARON CARTER LOVE SAGA, THE MOST IMPORTANT STORY OF OUR TIME: Aaron Carter has admitted that he needs to "shut up" about Hilary Duff. But also, "Hilary will always hold a special place in my heart." Same. [ONTD]
- Here is the first photo of Jennifer Lawrence and Chris Martin together. They are disembarking a plane in unfortunate hats. [ONTD]
- At a listening party held in her Los Angeles home, Taylor Swift baked pumpkin chocolate chip cookies for her fans and let them hold her cat. I REPEAT: SHE LET THEM HOLD HER CAT. [E!]
- Shia LaBeouf, artist, used his Nike+ app to spell out a message. The message was: "#metamarathon." I still don't think Shia LaBeouf understands what "meta" means. He is doing an art show in Amsterdam, though, and that is the message of this all. [E!]
- David Hasselhoff called Justin Bieber "a cool guy" after shooting a music video with him. This is probably because the Biebs reminds him of that dancing baby from Ally McBeal, which reminds him of his most important work. [People]
- James Blunt got married, which means it's time to tear down your marrying James Blunt vision board :( [HuffPo]
- Robert Pattinson held hands with FKA Twigs. [PopSugar]
- Lana del Rey will play two gigs in a cemetery, which is the Lana del Rey equivalent of inviting fans into one's home and baking them pumpkin chocolate chip cookies (because she is a ghost cursed to roam this planet until floral headbands go out of style). [Billboard]