Ahhh, the precious bloom of youth! Is it not refreshing to watch the children gambol and scrap like capricious spring lambs? WERE WE EVER SO YOUNG? Yesterday afternoon, Eminem's 16-year-old daughter Hailie Mathers (best known for being that baby that Eminem was always rapping about, which means that you are elderly now), flush with "funny feelings" for Prince of Hyrule Harry Styles, unleashed some epic fury at Styles's current paramour Taylor Swift. Or, at least, the account supposedly belonged to Hailie—it hasn't been officially verified and could, ostensibly, have been the nonsensiest and most rapidly abandoned prank ever.
"Dear @taylorswift13, please stop whoring around with every guy you see," user @hailiejade_x wrote. "We all know you're only doing it so you can make another album."
Swift's recent romance with One Direction singer Harry Styles appeared to be what triggered the attack.
"If @taylorswift13 is really dating the love of my life Harry_Styles i will not be happy," Mathers purportedly wrote.
"I am never, ever, everrrrr, listening to your music againnnn, @taylorswift13. LIKE EVER," another post read.
Following some super-convincing backtracking in which Hailie (or fake Hailie) insisted she was just having "fun," she deleted her account. Yay! Everyone had so much "fun"! [NYDN]
Wendy Williams says she would love to see Adele naked, because of PETA or something:
"I would like to see Adele naked," Williams said. "As a woman of a particular size myself, there is no hating on skinny girls, but there is nothing interesting about their bodies. I think for women, curves and softness is what separates men from women. Three cheers for girls that are built like fifth grade boys, but there is something to be said for womanly women. Adele with her gothic figure would look great in PETA ads."
I understand what she's getting at, but literally everything is wrong with that statement. [HuffPo]
James Van Der Beek is sick and fucking tired of you asking him about a Dawson's Creek reunion:
"The 'Dawson's Creek' reunion question would probably be number one on the list [of questions I'm sick of]," Van Der Beek told Anderson Cooper on "Anderson Live." "Well because there is no real good answer. Nobody is writing it, nobody's producing it. It's just stupid."
The real question here: What non-Dawson's Creek-related questions could people POSSIBLY be asking the venerable Mr. Beek? Does he get a lot of reporters hounding him about Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back? [HuffPo]
- LeAnn Rimes and Eddie Cibrian are hella mad at Cibrian's ex Brandi Glanville, because Glanville told the world that their baybay got sick after eating a bunch of Rimes's delicious laxatives. Great work all around. [E!]
- Rihanna is going to host some sort of Project Runway-style show called Styled to Rock. Spoiler: Every challenge is designing a bandanna to cover Bret Michaels's hair plugs. [Reuters]
- Why is HuffPo asking me if I "remember" Agnes Moorehead? Do I look like a BARBARIAN? [HuffPo]
- "JOHN Travolta has come out of the closet—as a secret hot chocolate collector." Good lede. Nice switcheroo. You really had me going there. [ShowbizSpy]
- "Emile Hirsch pees on cactus." [ONTD]
- Danny Devito says he and Rhea Perlman are "working on it!!!" LOVE ISN'T A LIE MAYBE!!! WE WILL ALL FIND OUR MATCHING PEPPER-SHAKER!!! [HuffPo]
- Jazz legend Dave Brubeck passed away at age 91. [E!]
- Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively did a "sexy kiss." [E!]
- A Lifetime exec says that Liz & Dick was totally worth it: "We couldn't have bought the buzz that we got. The idea that all of these people were talking about Lifetime? I'll take that." [HuffPo]
- This is the main thing that sustains me during hard times. [YouWillNotRegretClicking]