Elderly Woman Crashes Internet In Two Countries

I’ve always assumed that frequent internet crashes were the result of my internet/cable provider plotting against me (Exhibit B: E!, and thus The Soup, just randomly disappeared from my cable lineup), but a recent story out of Georgia and Armenia raises a new possibility. Last week 75-year-old Hayastan Shakarian of Georgia was arrested for allegedly causing a 12-hour internet shut down in both countries after hacking into a fibre-optic cable while digging for scrap metal.

Shakarian is facing up the three years in prison, but she insists, “I did not cut this cable. Physically, I could not do it.” And even if she did, it was just an accident! She adds, “I have no idea what the Internet is.” Shakarian’s family says she’s terrified, and it seems some mercy is in order here — especially since this has happened before. Georgian Railway Telecom says the cable has “robust protection,” but Georgians’ internet connections were cut just two years ago by another scavenger who hacked into a cable.