Dudes Speak Up About Going Down

Illustration for article titled Dudes Speak Up About Going Down

Welcome back to Guysourcing, where a panel of helpful gentlemen answer your questions! This week, inspired by a reader's inquiry, we asked guys, "I want to know what guys actually think about when giving oral sex. What do you notice? What do you not notice at all? Did you enjoy doing it initially, or is it something you learned to like?" We asked dudes of varying sexual orientations, but as it happened, the ones who responded talked about going down on ladies. Here's what they said:

"The best form of contraception"

What I think is "holy shit is this hot!" I notice the varieties in taste during certain parts of a girl's cycle. It tastes sort of tart right after her period ends, gets musky around ovulation and then has full blown feminine sex scent right before her period. I loved doing it from the first time I tried it. In fact, I came without touching myself the first time I went down on a girl. There is no learning to like it. Heck, it puts me even closer to pussy than fucking does. How could a guy who likes girls possibly not like it. Overall it's my favorite sexual experience. You don't have the pressure of "fuck if I get too into this I'm going to cum too soon and disappoint her but if I hold off and take forever to cum I'm going to end up boring her/making her sore/making her think I'm not that into it" that you get from intercourse. You just to get to dive into the best smell and taste in the world and be there until you see, feel, hear and taste her having an orgasm. It's a powerful feeling. I think oral sex is awesome and the best form of contraception mankind has ever come up with. Same great orgasms, no risk of changing diapers down the line.


The reaction

I really enjoy going down on a girl. If it's my first time in bed with her, that's my go-to move. It's not because I enjoy the physical act of putting my mouth in contact with her lady parts, or because I'm completely indifferent to the occasional grooming issue down there, or because my jaw never gets tired or anything like that. It's the reaction it gets. You don't even have to be THAT good at it to elicit some very rewarding responses from her, and if you ARE that good at it, so much the better. I don't focus on "Hey, she got a Brazilian!" or whatever particular smell I might come across, perhaps because the girls I've gone down on have kept their personal region...pleasant, at least. But even if they hadn't, I'd be an idiot to focus on that, and not on their overall reactions. For example, what are her hands doing? If they're bunched up in fists and grabbing the sheets...I'm probably doing okay.

Coitus interruptus (the good kind)

By the time I finally got the opportunity to go down on a girl, I was in my twenties and it was something I'd fantasized about for a while, so I've enjoyed it since I started. I usually just listen to make sure I'm going everything right — and to make sure I can hear in case my girlfriend gives me directions. Unlike when I'm receiving, my mind doesn't wander much: I'm usually right there in that moment when I'm going down on her. I guess I'll also think about other moves I could try to keep my jaw from getting too sore or about what she smells like each time.

I think I should also mention that sometimes I'll stop having sex with her when I'm going to climax too soon (in my opinion) and go down on her so she finishes at least once before I do. It just feels like a nice way to make up for almost climaxing prematurely. Besides, we both seem to like it.

No 69, please

If I had to break things down, my focus is 50% on my girlfriend's reactions, 25% on what I'm actively doing, 10% what I'll do next, and I suppose 15% on my own arousal. To be honest, I don't actively think about my own arousal, but there are certain, ahem, indicators that seem to prove otherwise. What can I say, I enjoy pleasuring (or sometimes attempting to pleasure) my girlfriend. [...]

I've always enjoyed going down on my girlfriend. There was a little apprehension at first, not because I didn't want to, but, instead, I didn't want to fail spectacularly and do something odd rather than enjoyable. Even though it has been a long time since that first time, there's a tiny bit of apprehension that remains to this day, but it's not something I particularly dwell upon. The taste down there was a little bit of an acquired taste. I didn't find it repulsive or anything, but it was just different. Over time, though, I've come to enjoy the taste of my girlfriend. It's familiar and sort of comforting now.

Since we're on the topic, I'll just voice my opinion that I'm not a big fan of 69. I appreciate that it's very intimate and all, but I'd rather just go down on my girlfriend individually and then have her go down on me. There's too much going on during 69 to really appreciate and enjoy it. That's not to say that I would turn down a good ol' 69ing...it just wouldn't be my first choice.



After that weird second where we acknowledge what's going to happen, I'm thinking exclusively about what I'm doing. I'm concentrating, making sure I'm not slobbering all over the place and rushing into sex, but I also don't want to pace myself too deliberately. Is now the best time to press my tongue harder here, or should I use my finger here yet, or whatever. I never really know what I'm doing, but that's kind of exciting figuring out. It's the best. There's a lot happening for the both of us, but I try to take it all in. What I don't notice is what sucks for her. I'll maybe find out later. Maybe. Are there points where it goes from great to weird then bad and back to great? I try to get an idea where those dips are, usually there's some degree of body language, but if it's going on for several minutes, surely there are points where it's not great. And yes, I enjoyed this from the first time as a teenager and it still rules. I haven't met any women who disagree, and guys who say they don't like it are probably just not sure what to do, which I contend is OK.


Learning the alphabet

As for what I'm thinking about in the act, much of it plays off of listening/feeling my partner. The moment is where I'm locked in, usually. Not dinner, not even penetration. The how-to comes from an article I received my freshman year of college from a girl-friend of mine who told me to read, in Maxim, of all places, how to go down on a gal. In short, build slowly, pay attention to the hips (a push toward you generally means more pressure, a push away means less) and realize there's much more going on down there than finding and working the clit. Once there work what you can how you can. The fallback is the alphabet — lowercase and then capital letters — while paying attention to the girl's reaction. She likes a certain letter, stay on it. And my bisexual stepsister told me how to find a G-spot in most women - knuckle deep, inside, on "top" is a smoothish, flat spot. Make a come here motion with your finger.

So that's about all I'm thinking about. There's too much method involved and in-the-moment goodness to let my mind wander. Bluntly: eating pussy is fun, and men who don't like it are weird or should reconsider their sexuality. ... unless my mouth gets kind of sore. At that point, like anyone, I'm just trying to finish the job. Or move on to the next thing. Orgasm isn't necessary in every oral sex situation, but it's nice.


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What about women? How do women feel about going down on men?

I already knew that men love to go down on women from my own experiences. But I have no idea about other women, and how they feel about going down on men. I usually hear pretty negative things and am about the only female I know who reports liking to go down on guys a lot. Anyone else want to share their thoughts, opinions, etc.?