So here's a dude that will casually put all boyfriends and husbands and life partners, real or imaginary, to shame. A man spent a year and a half panning for gold, collecting thousands upon thousands of tiny gold flakes to forge into matching rings for himself and his fiancée. Just give up now, world.
Two years ago on Christmas, John Greenwood of Luncarty, Perthshire in Scotland proposed to his girlfriend Morag Shearer with an engagement ring made of 34 grams of gold he collected himself over the course of three months. Not just any gold, 22 carat SCOTTISH GOLD, which apparently is pretty fucking rare and not commercially available (though these bottled gold souvenirs beg to differ).
But an engagement ring wasn't enough. Greenwood returned to the Highland Boundary Fault equipped with a gold pan, trowel, shovel, and rake and collected enough gold to make matching wedding bands. He has collected 100g of gold total, which is both romantically and statistically confounding. It is actually crazy that he collected so much gold in such a short timeframe. Via the Scotsman:
"It was a labour of love," said John, 48, from Luncarty, Perthshire. "It was an amazing feeling to put the ring on her finger. I was really overwhelmed
"They talk about gold fever. I was panning for gold in my dreams. I was driven by it. I reckon I spent 20 full days getting enough gold for the ring.
"It was a bit like climbing a mountain and getting to the top."
The two were married in Antigua last week. Seriously, who even loves that much? Panning for gold "14 or 15 hours a day" in "freezing cold water?" That is actually a terrifying amount of love. Having said that, if my future husband doesn't go into a mine himself and grab a rock to put into titanium he extracts himself, he can just get the fuck out. The Greenwood Standard holds up, people.
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