Draw a Bunny Bath and Enjoy the Holiday Weekend

It's Easter, which means a good chunk of the population is going to sit their terrified children in the lap of a gigantic pastel bunny that will stare menacingly at them with its large, expressionless eyes. Then, when the kids are in a fear-induced stupor, parents will stuff them full of gross marshmallow candies (Peeps suck, btw), maybe spin them around a few times, and send them off to find eggs cleverly hidden in the spring meadows. Then it's time to eat all the meat they were missing out on during Lent. Easter, when you really think about it, is just a coda to the holiday season, one holiday trying hard to incorporate the best elements of Halloween (candy), Thanksgiving (feast), and Christmas (presents), but actually creating a misunderstood Frankenstein monster of a holiday. Much better to forget all about it, steal some bunnies from one of those greedy bunny one percenters, and spend Sunday bathing with the adorable little rodents in a barely-filled bathtub.

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Dr. Opossum

Beyond it's highly significant religious importance for Christians (with Easter made fun of twice in one day - classy!), I would like to defend Easter as a secular holiday. Yes, there's gross chocolate and candy on sale, but also delicious brands of chocolate and candy on sale in cute shapes and colors. And Easter has such a bright and happy color scheme and so many flower/bunny/chick decorations. Secular Easter makes me happy and I always miss it when it is gone, especially as it is a long stretch to the 4th if July and Halloween.