Perhaps DD will write another book (one edited and revised this time) that will discuss his day-to-day life in more detail, now that he’s exorcised detailing his carnivalesque sex acts. I’ll look forward to it— because I’m still a fan. I just want to know more about the man behind the two (admittedly) impressive dicks in a way that doesn’t sound like we’re standing by the punch bowl at his ten-year high school reunion and he’s trying his hardest to convince me he’s invented post-its.

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Illustration by Jim Cooke.