We spent my second-to-last night in London in his flat listening to old bands and piping. And then we did the same thing on my last night. I started daydreaming about our future life together the second I kissed him goodbye. Through customs. Through boarding. Through the first round of drinks from the cart. It got so elaborate that at some point in the fantasy we moved to Ireland so could I become an expert weaver.

Then I had to pee. But it wasn't like "oh gotta pee maybe I'll get out of my window seat in like 15 minutes." It was like "Oh shit if I don't pee in five seconds something actually horrible is gonna happen."

It felt like some small evil man had entered my urinary tract and was slowly forcing me to pass tiny liquid coals from the bottom of my stomach to the toilet. I spent the whole rest of that flight to JFK in and out of the bathroom, crying.

Baby's first urinary tract infection.

A girlfriend told me to pee before sex and I'd never get one again. That...didn't work.

Advertisement

If you are a cis lady who pipes cis dudes Yahoo Health has some invaluable information:

According New York City urologist David Kaufman, MD, the "pee before sex" mantra is one of the biggest misconceptions he has to clear up for his female patients. While urinating after sex is definitely important, he says going to the bathroom beforehand is a big no-no.

Why? During sex, vaginal bacteria can get pushed into your urethra. Waiting to pee, and consequently having enough urine stored up to create a strong stream, increases the odds of pushing that bacteria back out. Without it, the bacteria can cause an infection.

Advertisement

Now that we know what we know we can all get back to what's really important here: finding me weaving retreat.

Photo via Shutterstock