Don't Have Sex With the Lady In Red, She Just Wants to Get Pregnant

The lady in red is dancing with you, cheek to cheek*, but only because she wants you (or anyone) to put a baby in her.

According to a study presented at the Association for Psychological Science conference, 124 women 18- to 47-years-old were asked both what color shirt they were wearing and when they had their last period. Researchers then matched up that info and found that when women were at their peak of fertility (we now call that “peak fertile”) (not really), they were wearing red shirts.

They’re apparently doing this because they want men to mate on them. Not only that, women wear more red during the winter than during the summer, but researchers think that’s because during the summer women can just run around practically naked if they want to get laid.

Why red? Isn’t yellow the first color the human eye notices? Am I making that up? Some of the answers are seemingly obvious:

Many cultures associated the color red with love and passion, and previous studies have shown that men rate pictures of women as more attractive if they are surrounded by a red border.

Some studies have found that women report increased sexual desire around peak fertility, greater attraction to masculine features, and a tendency to wear more revealing clothing, the researchers said.

As always with everything that’s this ridiculous, “more research is needed to replicate the findings in a larger population.”

*Uh… we all remember this song, right? I remember slow dancing to it with my mom at some point.