Don't Have a Halloween Costume? We're Here to Help

Illustration for article titled Dont Have a Halloween Costume? Were Here to Help

I love Halloween, I am committed to being good at it and I would like to see the rest of America do as I do. (Recent costumes–all homemade–include Tilikum the killer whale, Rainbow Fish and a flamingo. Yes, I do see that there is a theme there but I promise it was accidental and I am spicing things up this year.)


But maybe you don't love Halloween and you're not good at it but you know you need a costume. It's the afternoon of Halloween. What to do? Phone a friend. I am that friend.

The rules: give me one previous costume you wore that you liked and a couple things you just plain like. (Example: "One year, I dressed up a Laura Ingalls Wilder. My interests include cheese, the television and water.)


Images from the 1997 Frasier Halloween episode via Getty

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Last year my husband went as a Republican Congressman. Hair combed to the right, because you aren't a real Republican unless your hair even leans right, charcoal grey suit, red tie, an American flag lapel pin and a packet of birth control pills hung around his neck. Should we just transform the same costume in to Patrick Bateman? Hair slicked back, remove the flag pin and instead of birth control pills he'll carry an axe. No need to change demenor. Thoughts?

**Edited to add he likes me, Sci-Fi movies and scotch.