I love Halloween, I am committed to being good at it and I would like to see the rest of America do as I do. (Recent costumes–all homemade–include Tilikum the killer whale, Rainbow Fish and a flamingo. Yes, I do see that there is a theme there but I promise it was accidental and I am spicing things up this year.)

But maybe you don't love Halloween and you're not good at it but you know you need a costume. It's the afternoon of Halloween. What to do? Phone a friend. I am that friend.

The rules: give me one previous costume you wore that you liked and a couple things you just plain like. (Example: "One year, I dressed up a Laura Ingalls Wilder. My interests include cheese, the television and water.)

Images from the 1997 Frasier Halloween episode via Getty