Remember that time you had that fantastic first date at that adorable tapas place? And you both realized you both pronounced "delinquent" wrong when you were kids, and you both LOVED The Squid and The Whale, and everything was perfect, and then when s/he dropped you off at your door, you were all cute, like: "So you'll call me, right?" And s/he was like, "I would, but I don't want them to hear."
And then you never saw that person again? Remember that time? Well, s/he is probably on conspiracy theorist and InfoWars host Alex Jones's new dating website, Dating Freedom Lovers. Surprise: None of them are wearing hats made of tinfoil.
Sample profile excerpt: My area of focus has been primarily on vaccine injury and fearstream media population; however, I’m also passionate about legalizing the labeling of GMOs and putting a halt to obnoxious chemtrails. Seeking my special Valentine!
Dating Freedom Lovers vows to protect your privacy: “Unlike Facebook, Google+ and Twitter, which represent little more than vast snooping databases and NSA fronts, we are committed to preserving your privacy. [We] will never sell your information or divulge any of your details to any third party – government or corporation.”
Does it seem ironic to anyone else that the same people whose lives are completely consumed with not letting the government pull a Criss Angel Mindfreak on their Second Amendment rights are willing to put their photos, hometowns and first names on the Internet? Accessible to anyone? Even OK Cupid isn't that open. The crazy things we do for love, I suppose.
Where another dating site might ask "Where did you go to college?" or "Why did you choose to date on the Internet?" Freedom Lovers profiles explain how they came to realize that every major American landmark had a tiny, but powerful chip inside that emits brainwaves to everyone in the country who is at or above voting age.
I experienced my first political awakening in 2006 after a flu shot fiasco when I learned very quickly that vaccines were a well-disguised, master-minded tool of population control.
What are your hobbies? SoulCycle? Tarot? Being the proud mommy of a labradoodle?
Spreading infoseeds on various mass media, spending time with my family and watching the latest documentary to re-educate myself on the truth.
Also, guns. They like guns a lot. So, if any of you eligible singles have any interest in living in a rural homemade bomb shelter and talking 9/11 theories, get at them. Via... I don't know, carrier pigeon? I do like that Garry's laconic.