Donald Trump Reportedly Hates the 2 Least Objectionable Things About Jeff Sessions

Would U: Young Andrew Cuomo?

Here’s all the shit we couldn’t cover today:

• “If Sessions’ recusal was his original sin, Trump has come to resent him for other reasons, griping to aides and lawmakers that the attorney general doesn’t have the Ivy League pedigree the president prefers, that he can’t stand his Southern accent and that Sessions isn’t a capable defender of the president on television — in part because he ‘talks like he has marbles in his mouth,’ the president has told aides.” Sessions’s accent is literally the least objectionable thing about him but okay! [Politico]
• Meanwhile, crime time is on Trump’s mind. [The Hill]
• Don Jr. wants someone to create Facebook but for conservatives. I think it’s just called Facebook, but what do I know. [Axios]
• John McCain’s 106-year-old (!!!) mother will be at his funeral service in Washington DC. [Associated Press]
• Florida gubernatorial candidate Andrew Gillum raised more than $1 million the day after winning his primary. [The Hill]
• Yet another reason to #AbolishICE. [Washington Post]
• Bank of America is being accused of freezing the accounts of customers it suspects of not being US citizens. [Sacramento Bee]
• The man who made a series of threatening phone calls to the Boston Globe earlier this month (“You’re the enemy of the people, and we’re going to kill every fucking one of you,” he said) has been arrested. This is totally not related to our president’s attacks on the media at all!!! [NBC News]

Here are some tweets the president was allowed to publish today:

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