Does the Royal Family Have a Secret Handshake: a Thomas Markle Hunch

Illustration for article titled Does the Royal Family Have a Secret Handshake: a Thomas Markle Hunch
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🚨THOMAS MARKLE UPDATE🚨: Thomas Markle was (surprise!) available for his weekend Sun interview, and he has soundbytes. He calls the Royal Family cult-like–like Scientology–because they are secretive. In his words:

They are cult-like — like Scientology — because they are secretive.

He speculates that they could even have a “secret handshake,” which sounds sinister, and if they did, he would never know. “You cannot ask a question of them,” he says, “as they won’t answer.”

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Right, they’re not talking to him.

But yes, they do have secret gestures! Go nuts.


This is a gift: The Sun launched a full-on investigation into why Leonardo DiCaprio keeps dating women under 25 with graphics, charts, photographs and consultations with several psychologists (he’s currently dating a 23-year-old). The verdict: a) it is creepy b) may be linked to a traumatizing rash of bad press he got at age 25 c) maybe he needs validation that he’s hot d) maybe he’s shallow. Any one is a valid choice, except for d, which is correct.


Something to vaguely remember for a few years until we forget again: Glenn Close was in a cult, actually. In an interview with Weekend Magazine, published in the Daily Mail, Close speaks about her childhood til age 22 spent in a “cult-like” religious group Moral Re-Armament, which demands members follow a moral code “where everybody is supposed to say the same things and act in the same way.”


  • Nick Jonas and Priyanka Chopra held a roka, a traditional Indian engagement ceremony, in Mumbai. [Page Six]
  • Are veneers so bad, though? [People]
  • Uh-oh, no Shookus. [TMZ]
  • Miranda Lambert’s boyfriend is officially divorced. [Page Six]
  • Celebrity dog adoptions from Korean meat farms seem to be on the rise since the Olympics. [TMZ]
  • Know that at least one professional “lotioner”–a person who applies lotion to Kim Kardashian–exists. [The Sun]
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Staff reporter, Gizmodo. wkimball @ gizmodo

DISCUSSION

sararueful2
sararueful2

Do veneers have anything to do with retainers, though? People said Kelly used veneers, she said, “Nope, I use a retainer every night” ... but those aren’t mutually exclusive, are they?

Thomas Markle needs to go away. It’s getting to the point where, when he whines, “If I die, she’ll be happy,” I’m thinking, “Good, then, just do it already.” Man, my dad and I had a precarious relationship, but he was Ward freakin’ Cleaver compared to this grifting douchebag.