It's hard out there for a high-voiced guy, apparently. While it's never occurred to me to have a "type" when it came to the pitch of a potential partner's voice, it's certainly not surprising that higher-voiced men feel marginalized in the dating scene. The trappings of traditional masculinity and femininity are deeply ingrained in our culture's ideas about who we're "allowed" to find attractive.

Mark Jason Williams wrote a lovely essay over at the Daily Dot about his adventures in dating (men) while contending with preconceived notions about his high-pitched voice. He's been called "ma'am" on the phone, told "You'd be much cuter with a deeper voice," and had difficulty booking a room at an all-male resort. You should pop over and read it:

I thought I'd found the solution when I met a guy with a hearing impairment. Surely, my voice wouldn't matter. The date started off well. We got coffee, walked through Prospect Park, and talked about his job as a nurse. His voice was slurred, high-pitched, and monotone, but he spoke with confidence and I admired that.

"So, where do you work?" I asked.

"Harlem, but I don't like it," he said. "Too many black people."

Now I had the speech disability, as in: I didn't know what to say. I decided to cut it short, so I lied and told him I wasn't feeling well and we walked back to the subway. He dropped his cup on the sidewalk and didn't pick it up, which made me hate him more.

"Do you want to go out again?" he asked.

"I don't think so."

"Because I'm deaf?"

"No, because you're racist and a litter bug."

It seems obvious to me that at least part of this is culturally-imposed stigma—that testosterone-soaked "manliness" is the only correct way for a man to be. And that's why it's important to dismantle prescriptive ideas about what people "should" and "shouldn't" be attracted to, and just let people like people for being people. If I fell in love with someone, I can't imagine ditching them just because they couldn't hit a low E-flat or whatever.


What do you guys think? Is the pitch of a person's voice a dealbreaker? Is there a similar stigma against women with low voices?