Do You Have A Mental Checklist When Making Friends?

Shane Watson of the Times of London argues that if women perhaps considered “a list of rigid rules” when it came to selecting a husband, we’d be able to avoid the drama that has befallen the likes of Elin Nordegren.

Watson’s column is meant to be slighly tongue-in-cheek (I think), as she notes that Tiger’s “creepy” Nike ad was the last straw for Nordegren (“a girl can cling on post-infidelities (even a dozen or so), but class-A creepiness is a guaranteed deal-breaker“), and though I find the notion of having “rules” for dating somewhat creepy itself, Watson’s ultimate points, that women shouldn’t settle for anyone who isn’t kind, doesn’t show respect for other women, and doesn’t have any passions outside of the relationship seem like healthy enough suggestions to me.

However, I don’t think Watson’s list should be applied to potential partners only: surrounding yourself with people who show hatred towards other women or an overall lack of kindness is just bad policy altogether, isn’t it? Perhaps instead of suggesting that women alone look for men who exhibit these qualities, we should be working on society as a whole to, you know, not be dicks on a regular basis. Unless you run with an asshole crew, and that’s your thing, and in that case, more power to you for finding each other.

And while a “mental checklist” might sound a bit icky, in terms of making friends, one does get to a certain point in life where alarm bells start ringing right away, and, I’ve found, anyway, the older I get, the less time I want to spend dealing with people who I can instantly read as manipulative or cruel. I suppose my mental checklist, in that way, isn’t really a list of things I look for in a friend, but things I look to avoid in potential friends, due to being burned in the past.

What about you, commenters? Do you have a mental friendship or dating checklist of sorts? Or do you prefer just to stay open and hope for the best?