Here's a study that explains pretty much human civilization: in a nutshell, men get stupider around blondes. It's some phenomenon called the "Bimbo Delusion" and apparently what happens is that, encountered with fair haired females, their brains go into Standby mode in anticipation that the conversation is going to be, like...you know? Ummm...where was I going with this? Oh yeah, so scientists basically made men take, like, IQ tests or whatever after being shown pictures of various women, and they did okay through the Beyonces and the Lucy Lius, but as soon as, like, the Girls Next Door showed up they totally bombed. Needless to say some blondes — not me! — are doubting this finding, like some Marks & Spencer model who's all, "If I'm being insulted, then I'm blissfully unaware." Which is like, well yeah. Anyway guys, do me a favor and forget I'm blonde for a second, so I can get in my little PSA.
Look, I'm pretty sure we're all susceptible to the "bimbo delusion" — to the point that it's totally no longer a delusion. LIke, I learned how to talk "blonde" from other blondes and I still can't get anyone to take me seriously. Not that I deserve to be taken seriously, but you see? It's kind of a self-fulfilling prophecy. Now, it's true that blondes can use the world's assumptions that they're brain dead to their advantage — but most of the time, they're too busy using their blondness to their advantage! And meanwhile, the world keeps getting highlights. It's madness! And, like, it is only getting worse! Seriously, remember how dumb you sounded in high school? Now go watch The Hills. Feel better? You shouldn't! This is some sick Darwinist shit in action here, but like with global warming, we can all do our part.
DYE YOUR HAIR.
If not for you, for the next generation of smarter, if less comely children you will have with the dude who is attracted to you for reasons other than...uh, what was he saying?