Do Some People Need Sex Before They Can Get In "The Mood"?

Illustration for article titled Do Some People Need Sex Before They Can Get In "The Mood"?

"Fuck your husband every night period or no" is a new philosophy I've noticed sprouting up at the gynomags. It started with the anonymous British husband who wrote in Glamour about how it only took 22 days of straight screwing to make his wife come and carried on with a similar story in last month's ELLE during which another woman tried the same strategy, and now in this month's ELLE a woman named Michele Weiner Davis who calls herself the "Divorce Buster" explains its rationale:

I wish I had a dollar for each time a woman said to me, 'I wasn't really in the mood, but once we did it, I enjoyed it, and I had an orgasm.' In the conventional model of human sexual response, one, you have lusty thoughts; two, you get with your partner and touch your partner and get physically aroused; three, you have an orgasm...but for millions of people, steps one and two are reversed.


Sooooooo, "no" sometimes means "yes"?

Well okay seriously guys. Does "I'm not in the mood" mean you're lying to yourself? That you just may not know you're in the mood? And if there are people who are required to actually have sex to get in the mood to have sex, um, what does that mean for the people who are supposed to be having sex with them? Because I have totally been "not in the mood", only to find myself in the midst of a sweaty, endless, shockingly fun bone session — but I'll put out when I'm not in the mood because I'm a giver that way. I never thought of "allowing myself to be molested" as being an actual strategy for getting horny, but... uh... if this is the sort of thing they are telling the boys it sort of sheds light on certain of their tactics...Hey, thanks for taking me down this road, ELLE!



@BiscuitDoughJones: @Archetype: Now that I think about it, my time on Celexa was a serious downer in that department. My boyfriend at the time actually liked it because he thought I wanted to do it too much before then... He also had major sex issues, being brought up super Catholic and such, so maybe it had nothing to do with me...