Do Men Who Do Housework Get Laid More?

This image was updated 1/13/20.
This image was updated 1/13/20.
Image: Getty

“Men Who Do Housework May Get More Sex,” the headline of this AP story reads. Well, duh. Anyway, a report released today by the Council on Contemporary Families states that men’s contribution to housework has doubled over the past four decades. Let’s hope so! Because a modern wives, as the Daily Mail so helpfully points out, are “a long way from the regimented unselfishness of the idealized wife” of the 1950s. Plus, the Telegraph reports, 59% of modern men think it’s important that their woman stand up to them. Retro-submission be gone! The AP story quotes Joshua Coleman, a San Francisco-area psychologist and author of a book called The Lazy Husband: How to Get Men to Do More Parenting and Housework. He says: “If a guy does housework, it looks to the woman like he really cares about her - he’s not treating her like a servant. And if a woman feels stressed out because the house is a mess and the guy’s sitting on the couch while she’s vacuuming, that’s not going to put her in the mood.” Also, guys look hot when they’re doing dishes, laundry or vacuuming. That’s been established.

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Unfortunately, the report also found that there is still a gender gap for “invisible” household work: Women still do the majority of the management stuff, like scheduling children’s medical appointments, buying gifts for birthday parties, arranging holiday gatherings, etc. Still, the overall findings in the report suggest that couples are moving towards more equitable partnerships. “The younger set of dads have their own expectations about themselves as to being helpful and participatory,” says Carol Evans, founder and CEO of Working Mother magazine. “They haven’t quite gotten to equality in any sense that a women would say, ‘Wow, that’s equal,’ but they’ve gotten so much farther down the road.”

But is the media trying to convince men that dirty dishes = potential blow job? Do men who do housework get laid more? Is it because they’re not selfish jerks? Do you think we’ll ever get to place where all men and women share the housework (visible and invisible!) equally? Or are there some things that will always be “the woman’s job”?

Men Who Do Housework May Get More Sex [Yahoo! News]
Honey, You’re Out Of Date: Why Men No Longer Want A 1950s Wife [Daily Mail]
Today’s Perfect Wife: A Good Cook Who Argues [Telegraph]

Related: A Fifties Wife? No Thanks, I’ve Got One [Daily Mail]

Earlier: Is A Hot Guy Hotter When He’s Doing Your Laundry?
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DISCUSSION

mehblahpfft
MehBlahPfft

Re men doing chores: It's nice. i definitely do more chores, but that's because it doesn't occur to my husband to take initiative. That's fine, I just say "honey, can we clean the apartment today?" and he'll say "Yes." or "I had plans, can we do it tomorrow morning?" then I'll say "Sure." and it's done. Rather than get miffed he doesn't do them without being asked, we communicate and it gets done with pleanty of sex to follow.

Re well raised boys: My husband had the unfortunate experience of having to clean up after all his mother's dinner parties (I never found this fair, either: HE didn't ask for the party...) But it ingrained in him the need to do dishes. That won him points with MY mother when he first came over...

Re "invisible housework": I do all the family coordinating, etc. Know why? It's not my husband, it's his family. His mother writes to ME to ask about him, rather than just talking to him directly. If his uncle wants to get together for dinner, he calls me. I guess they're all stuck in the "women are the communicators" thing.. that and my darling love doesn't answer his cell phone.. ever.