Do-It-Yourself Virtual Plastic Surgery is Pretty Underwhelming

Of course the Beverly Hills Institute of Aesthetic and Reconstructive Surgery allows you to “visualize the new you” by giving yourself digital plastic surgery. Of course it does.

“FaceTouchUp helps you visualize cosmetic surgery results from the comfort of your own home,” the site promises. “Now you can use the same digital imaging technology that surgeons use to visualize plastic surgery results — for free and in a super easy to use site. Seeing a new you has never been so easy!”

At first I kept trying to take ridiculous photos of myself — leaning my neck forward to create an exaggerated double chin, puffing my cheeks out — in hopes the site would tell me I urgently needed their services to be a beautiful princess, but that’s not how it works; it’s basically just like that Mac Photo Booth option where you can make part of your face bigger and/or smaller by standing in the correct spot. Or like Photoshop.

If you actually want plastic surgery this will not help you. It’ll just make you mad at yourself after thinking you’d look kind of like a scary but awesome Disney movie witch if you got an eye lift. Or at least that’s what I’ve heard.