I always thought a "diva" was a survivor with a colorful string of lovers and struggles. And some of the VH1 Divas at the Brooklyn Academy of Music - Liza, Jennifer, Toni - definitely qualify. Miley Cyrus? Not so much.

Jennifer Hudson, for instance: an actual survivor. Which, I guess, entitles her to a futuristic suit of armor, if that's what she wants.


Or, obviously, Liza! Sequins, wigs, and single-name-recognition are true diva hallmarks.


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Toni Braxton appreciates the drama of the occasion, even if this does swing a little David's Bridal.


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And Kathy and Hoda, obviously, needed to be here. Their getups are deliciously frumpy. And I'm kind of feeling all the virginal white - both seasonally and occasionally inappropriate.


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Kathy Griffin is a virtual virgin goddess! No, seriously, I really like this gown.


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Paula is, of course, the grand mistress of this whole thing. Her rather elegantly subdued dress is saved from too much quiet good taste by ruby slippers and - are those stockings?


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Speaking of quiet good taste - and wigs - Kim Zolciak is actually going much looser than usual in azalea-tinted meringue.


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Kelly Clarkson, diva-in-training, looks about as youthful as an operatic diva with a long history of Wagner performances behind her.


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Jordyn Sparks also skews a little frumpy. Which, given the event, I'm kind of feeling.


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India.Arie sort of looks like she has gold spilling from her breasts. Nice skill to have!


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The horizontal wrap on Sheryl Crow's gauzy number isn't terribly flattering - but might have been better with a shoe other than these high-cut booties.


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If you're dressing around a generous bust, like Sheri Shepherd, tight and one-shouldered isn't really the most flattering option, as it results in the dreaded sling effect.


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Adele, embryo diva, continues her run as one of the best-dressed women on the proverbial red carpet of life.


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You know who don't qualify as divas? Whitney Port and Lauren Conrad. That said, I'm glad they made a sequin effort.


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Also: Miley Cyrus. And her dress is terrible. The end.

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