Disneyland Paris Is a Hellscape with Shitty Food, Claims Petition

Complaints about the much-maligned (and little desired) Disneyland Paris might be overblown, but one thing seems certain from recent tales of how the park has fallen into disrepair: Disneyland Paris is a blasted, desolate murderscape, populated with roving bands of zombified Disney characters, terrible food, and crappy rides that should be marked with a front-gate placard that reads, “Lasciate ogne speranza, voi ch’intrate.” You know, for the European crowd.

The Daily Mail, always a reliable source for schadenfreude newsbits, almost manages to muster genuine dismay that Disneyland Paris isn’t doing so well. There’s currently a 5,000 signature-strong petition circulating the continent (and the UK!) begging Disneyland Paris to get its act together. As of right now, however, it seems that things in the third greatest place on Earth aren’t all smiles and Mickey Mouse-eared crepes.

From the Mail:

The petition, which has been translated into six languages, claims the park’s fast food outlets are steep in price and cannot compete with other nearby restaurants, such as McDonald’s.

It also highlights the ‘early’ closing times of the resort’s restaurants.

“When Disneyland Park closes at 11pm, you would expect to be able to have a nice evening dinner, not to discover the restaurant closed at 7.30pm,” it reads.

“These short opening hours make it impossible to book a meal for later in the day – you either have to plan ahead or settle for counter service offerings in Disneyland Park or Disney Village.”

Budget cuts have also forced the park to close some popular attractions, a YouTube video taken earlier this year by one intrepid visitor shows that Space Mountain, whatever its actual structural integrity may be, looks like it was built by a kid playing half-heartedly with an Erector Set.

And while we culturally envious Americans may deride Disneyland Paris for exporting consumerist culture that Europeans seem too sophisticated for, guess what? The park, according to the Mail, has become really popular, and just last year celebrated its 20th anniversary.