Sex. Celebrity. Politics. With Teeth
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Sex. Celebrity. Politics. With Teeth

Disney Bridal: For The Fairy Princess In None Of Us

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Have you heard? Disney, the very same company that has been selling young girls the myth that if we sit around on your asses long enough, a prince will come and whisk you us off our feet, is now selling young women wedding dresses inspired by the various Disney princesses: Ariel from The Little Mermaid, Belle from Beauty and the Beast, Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Snow White, and Jasmine from Aladdin. The new Disney Bridal collection, now in its second season, rehashes the worst bridal design stereotypes and repackages them into looks that resemble those in the Disney movies we saw as kids... if we squint our eyes real hard, that is. After the jump, behold the latest collection by Disney Bridal designer Kirstie Kelly for grown women who want to dress like animated drawings.

Verdict: Mermaid tails. How, um, literal.

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Verdict: Has Kirstie Kelly woman ever seen Beauty and the Beast? No bookish geek girl worth her library would be seen within spitting distance of this much tulle underlay.

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Verdict: Oh come on: Would it have killed her to do at least one of those in that Cinderella blue? Think outside the box, ladies. And by that we mean, translate your cartoon idols as literally as possible.

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Verdict: Because in Arabia, they accentuate their hips?

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Verdict: Notice how all these styles have sleeves of some sorts. After all that time sleeping, we guess Beauty wasn't afraid to play it coy at the altar.

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Verdict: Is it weird that the oldest cartoon yielded one of the more modern looking dresses? I mean, at least that middle one isn't a princess dress.