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Diane Keaton on Not Getting Married: 'I'm Strange... I Don’t Know Anything, and I Haven't Learned'

Illustration for article titled Diane Keaton on Not Getting Married: Im Strange... I Don’t Know Anything, and I Havent Learned
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Who among us hasn’t found themselves inspired by something Diane Keaton said? Like when she asked Ellen DeGeneres if she knows “what that feels like, to be sexually frustrated?” in her gives-no-shits hunt for a lover? Or when she told Jimmy Kimmel she doesn’t actually have any friends and Meryl Streep doesn’t call? In a recent interview with People promoting her 58th film, Poms, Keaton proved to be a spiritual guide worth mirroring your life after: She told the tabloid the reason she isn’t married, and has never been married, is that she’s weird.

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Keaton said:

“I think that I’m strange. I don’t know anything, and I haven’t learned. Getting older hasn’t made me wiser. Today I was thinking about this, I’m 73 and I think I’m the only one in my generation and maybe before who has been a single woman all her life. [I’m not sad] because I think that I needed more of a maternal aspect. I don’t think it would have been a good idea for me to have married, and I’m really glad I didn’t, and I’m sure they’re happy about it, too.”

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She continued, all but quoting Jughead’s “I’m a weirdo” speech from the first season of Riverdale. (You know the one.) Keaton:

“I’m an odd ball. I remember one day in high school, this guy came up to me and said, ‘One day you’re going to make a good wife.’ And I thought, ‘I don’t want to be a wife. No.’”

She also said she wishes she didn’t date famous people, and considering she was once partnered with Woody Allen, I’d say everyone should support that realization:

“When I was young, I was looking to be loved by these extraordinary people. I think I should not have been so seduced by talent. When you’re both doing the same job, it’s not so great. I should have found just a nice human being, kind of a family guy... I have kissed some great guys in film. They have to pretend they like you! I loved kissing Andy Garcia [in 2018’s Book Club]. There might be a [Book Club sequel] but maybe Andy will say, ‘Can you give me one of the other women to kiss?”

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Senior Writer, Jezebel. My debut book, LARGER THAN LIFE: A History of Boy Bands, is out now.

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DISCUSSION

iwontbeyouryokoono2
iwontbeyouryokoono2

As someone who is probably also going to be single forever, I admire her for being open about it just being because she’s weird. I feel like I either have to say I’m looking for love and can’t find it, or I’m embracing my own fabulousness and can’t be tied down. The truth is closer to, “I’m a strange person, I’m not easy to love, and the available options have not appealed to me.”