Deputy FBI Director Andrew McCabe Steps Down

Image via Getty.
Image via Getty.

More like Monday funday, am I right everybody? Haha! No, I am wrong.

Here’s all the shit we couldn’t cover today:

  • After months of attacks from Trump and his supporters, Deputy FBI Director Andrew McCabe has abruptly stepped down from his position. The White House denied involvement; the Times reports that according to sources, McCabe felt pressure from bureau head Christopher Wray to leave. [The New York Times]
  • In a phone call with McCabe following Comey’s firing, Trump reportedly told McCabe to ask his wife “how it feels to be a loser” in an apparent reference to her failed Democratic bid for the Virginia state legislature in 2015. So it sounds like they were super close. [NBC]
  • Melania Trump’s 21 military flights to and from DC and Florida from New York, which she took because she didn’t move into the White House right away like the totally on-board and content wife she is, cost taxpayers a whopping $675,000. [WSJ]
  • Low-ish profile Rep. Joe Kennedy III—of the Kennedy Kennedys—will be delivering the Democrats’ official State of the Union response tomorrow. [Politico]
  • The Trump White House is trying to bring down legal immigration numbers—wonder where he got that fucked up idea—just as members of Congress from both parties urge a deal that focuses only on Dreamers and border security. [Washington Post]
  • Like a flower returning to its home in the soil, (flowers do that, I think—not that I would know since I live in the Big Apple!) Omarosa is headed back to reality TV. [Politico]
  • South Africa is literally running out of water. [NBC]

Here are some tweets the president was allowed to publish—actually, here is just one tweet, the greatest ever:


This has been Barf Bag.

Ellie is a freelance writer and former senior writer at Jezebel. She is pursuing a master's degree in science journalism at Columbia University in the fall.



I’m inclined to believe that the State of the Uniom snafu was on purpose. Simply because it is such a mind bogglingly boneheaded mistake. I choose to believe that they knew that something like McCabe’s resignation was coming down the pike and they had this in pocket to distract from that and, in some perverted way, focus attention back on the State of the Union Address.

What worries me most is this nationalised 5G network that Trump wants. Is there any word on whether it will have a government overseen kill switch?

Here to act as a balm to this horrible hellish government is a newly shorn Marzipan. Gone is the big floofy hygge-hound. I can’t stop laughing at her. Out of love.

And here is the last photo of her with shaggy hair.

When her fur grows out again, it will be gray, not black.