Reading about Dennis and Elizabeth Kucinich is almost as embarrassing as being them. And the stories keep coming! Juicy, adorable, miraculous/retarded little details just keep lobbying their way into our collective consciousness, defying you to do retarded things like memorize little passages from the birthday cards at Whole Foods (Did you ever think about how "Anger" is just one letter short of "Danger"? I know, right?)...So anyway, you know it was a "love at first sight" situation, despite the incredible odds that the two have probs not shared sightlines since Elizabeth was in middle school. (That would be, when Dennis was in his late forties!) You know it was some meeting, on monetary policy, when the earth just sort of stopped. But did you know about the morning? Let the Washington Post's inimitable Libby Copeland let you in on the morning:

"Tell her about the morning," Elizabeth says helpfully."Ooh! That's right!" Kucinich says. Here's the amazing part. (Things involving Elizabeth generally tend to be amazing.)

And you know what? It actually is amazing. It's UFO-amazing!

That very morning, believe it or not, guru Sri Sri Ravi Shankar, who teaches peace through meditation and rhythmic breathing, had come to town. Dennis and Ravi have known each other for a long time. Ravi asked about Dennis's love life. Dennis said he was still looking for that special someone."And his response was, 'Stop looking and then she will appear,' " Dennis says. "And I said, 'Okay, I'm going to stop looking.' I said that. And that afternoon โ€” "

No, really, yes! They met that very day! And then! And then it was just a matter of time before he began seeing UFOs and eventually believed that if he could get Elizabeth to marry him, he could fucking be president of the United States.

After their first meeting that day in his office โ€” that Dennis hoped was soul recognition, but feared was wishful thinking โ€” Elizabeth walked out of the Longworth Building, found a place to sit and read the paper he had given her. It was his proposed billto establish a Department of Peace. She thought it was amazing. Dennis understood the "interconnectedness and interdependence" of humanity.

"I didn't expect the bill should actually be so . . . conscious," she says.

Days passed.

"I was still thinking about Elizabeth about two weeks later, sitting, working late in my office as I'm wont to do," Dennis says. (We're back in the tiniest town in New Hampshire, and Dennis and Elizabeth are on the couch at the inn, sitting close as always.) "It was about 7:30 at night and I was just sending a message out to the universe saying, 'Where is this woman? If there's anything to be done here, I need a sign.' "

And at that moment โ€”

"At that exact moment, I get an e-mail."

It was from Elizabeth. A sign. Her automatic signature included a quote, something about her heart being as open as the sky. Another sign. They began exchanging e-mails. They discovered they were both scheduled to be in New Mexico shortly. Dennis was going to visit MacLaine and Elizabeth was accompanying her boss, who was giving a lecture. They arranged to meet. In the meantime, Elizabeth, propelled by a feeling that she should buy herself a blue ring, found one in a store and bought it. She called it her "Dennis ring."

Why?

"I really don't know," she says. "I just saw it and called it my Dennis ring."

Anyway, months have passed since I first started working out my gag reflex for these guys, and yet my jaw is still stuck in "WTF" mode. Because, seriously, it's not 1968 anymore! The Altamont Speedway thing happened, and then John Lennon was shot, and now even Sesame Street is considered inappropriate for children! Did you guys miss all that? What are you fucking hippies still so fucking happy about? And can you hook me up with some??

Advertisement


The Love Song Of Dennis J. Kucinich [Washington Post]