Dear Would-Be Crazy Ex-Girlfriends Of The World, Stop Being So Damn Rational

Illustration for article titled Dear Would-Be Crazy Ex-Girlfriends Of The World, Stop Being So Damn Rational

I've been thinking about Ethan Hawke singing that song last night he wrote about Uma Thurman being a "big fat beast." And John Mayer using his blog to talk about how he no longer wants to talk to Jessica Simpson since he boned her in his helicopter or something. Time for a post about crazy exes! Here's a blog post about a girl who started a Facebook group to get back at her ex-boyfriend.

So, look I know this group is ridiculous and immature and really classless, but I just cannot get over how unfairly this ended. I am over ****, I'm just not over the disrespect, you know? You don't have to actually hate *** to join this group cause let's face he is pretty adorable and he is pretty great to go to a party with.


Oh for fuck's sake, woman, where's the rage? She goes on.

The only intention of this group is that *** maybe has to endure a couple of awkward conversations. Like what if a bunch of people went up to *** and were like "You got [scorned lady] pregnant? What the fuck?" That would be a pretty fun conversation.

Anyway, yeah, I think there is beauty in the breakdown and I kinda' just want to see what life is like if I live totally impulsively. Good things come from bad situations right? And, besides I am about as dramatic as it gets anyway. Me and Britney...

Girl, if I may, stop being so damn rational. Emotions aren't about "respect." You're pissed; run with that! Allow yourself to become a parody of your heartbroken self! Be Lilli Taylor in Say Anything if you have to. It's not fun, but speaking as someone who sits in my house all day and interacts with no one, it actually does seem kind of fun! Like being alive. Don't apologize for anything; he fucked you over; he's a dick. I once bought the URL to Fuck-[Ex-Boyfriend's Name].com and wrote a hyperbolically angry blog there for about three days. He told me later he thought that was kind of cool.

Facebook Vengeance: Maybe Tempting But Bad, Bad, Bad [Washington City Paper]



I totally forgot my own moment of craziness.

I briefly dated this super homophobic dude. After he cheated on me with some wench and told our mutual friends I'd made it up, myself and my girlfriends went on a year-long car porning spree.

What, exactly, is car porning you ask?

Buying raunchy gay porn magazines, and plastering his car in them. Shoving some in his sun roof. Occasionally covering the whole piece of art in saran wrap.

To this day, he has no idea it was me who did this on a bi-weekly basis.