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Dear Kimye, Please Let Us Name Your Baby

Illustration for article titled Dear Kimye, Please Let Us Name Your Baby

As we all know by now, last night Kanye West announced in concert that he had successfully put a baby into the belly of Kim Kardashian. "Praise be," we all cried, lifting our rosé champagne to the sky and lighting fire to a pile of US Weeklys. As has been predicted by witches, priests and tabloids alike, Kimye is with child and the throne of Watch The now has a second in line.


With these happy-meets-"da fuck?" tidings comes a fair share of questions: Do you think Kanye West knows that you can't encrust a newborn baby with diamonds? (No.) Does Kim Kardashian have to show up Khloe with everything she does? (Yes.) Is there any way that this child will grow into a chill adult with reasonable expectations as to what he or she is entitled to? (Probably not!) And then there's the most important question of all — what will they name it? Seeing as this baby will be a baby of the people (whether we like it or not), it only seems fair that we should be the ones who get to decide.


Mr. West and Ms. Kardashian, we at Jezebel have come up with some options — many of which are thoughtfully crafted to begin with the letter "K" — we hope you will take into consideration:

  • Louis Vuitton
  • Yeezy Peasy
  • Self
  • Hair Extention
  • Red Vine
  • Embry-yo-yo-yo
  • Pleather
  • Easton (West)
  • Sunglass Hut
  • Gotye
  • Lake Michigan
  • Bank Vault
  • Humble
  • Kocaine
  • KY Jelly
  • Konfidence
  • Kostly
  • Kloset
  • Karen

Okay, now it's your turn. What do you think they should name Baby Kardashian-West? Whoever writes the best one gets to claim the kid upon its birth, Rumpelstiltskin-style.

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RaisedByHeathens Orange Meanie-Pants

Kelly Green? Then they can snub their noses at another colorful celebrity baby. Get in on the fruits and veggies celebaby names with Karrot(bonus points if they spell it Karat) In fact- Karat. Starts with a K, denotes something ritzy and expensive, that's my guess and I'm sticking to it.