Dear Governor Palin: Why So Afraid Of The Fourth Estate?

Illustration for article titled Dear Governor Palin: Why So Afraid Of The Fourth Estate?

Hey, Sarah, what's up? No, it's cool, you can talk to me. Remember? You're a hockey mom! Only lipstick separates you from a pitbull! You're sassy, you're brassy, you're utterly convinced you're ready to lead this country! You don't hesitate or blink! So, why are you trying so hard to avoid answering questions from reporters?I mean, I know we can be sort of mean. First there was mean old "Charleee", asking you about the Bush Doctrine as though you were supposed to know that it was the single largest repudiation of post-nuclear American foreign policy and basically said we'd nuke whomever we felt like, fuck-you-very-much. And then that meanie CBS reporter snuck in a question about the major economic bailout the government had just undertaken and you felt like you had to answer it even though you hadn't yet been told what talking points to parrot yet, it was so off-putting. But, then Sean Hannity rolled over and let you scratch his belly and a little behind his ears, so I thought we were cool now. Well, and, yes, I know that Keith Olbermann is being a total dick to you, what with donating $100 to charity of every lie that you tell, like it's your fault or something that the campaign staff won't revise the speeches you're giving to take the lies out, but he's not on the road following your campaign. And I'm sure Andrew Sullivan's list of the 12 different lies you've told had to sting, but he's just a blogger and that's not like a real reporter or producer who's going to be standing in a room with you and the President of Afghanistan for less than a minute. So, it's good that you relented and let that CNN producer witness you talking with Karzai about his son for a whole 40 seconds earlier today. That'll totally show people you're not scared of the press and that you know how to have substantive discussions of U.S. foreign policy with important world leaders, Bush Doctrine questions be damned! I mean, it was really important that the photographer and the TV crew get footage of you talking and having serious conversations with him and Colombian President Uribe even if the entire press corps were utter dicks about insisting that their coverage of you be more than pictures of you looking Vice Presidential! And it was really well done that you got Karzai's handlers to pretend to be the ones objecting to anyone doing anything other than taking pictures - that was a master-stroke, as was your staff's insistence that it was all just one big misunderstanding when they explicitly said that no one that writes anything for a living would be allowed in the room. The press will totally buy that! Anyway, so, like, buck up, girl! We're really not that bad! You can totally talk to reporters. You hunt moose! You shoot at wolves from airplanes! What's the worst you can do, really? I mean, John McCain's already out threatening Spain and trying to fire people he can't fire and shit. What are you going to do, start a war with Russia? Oh, yeah, right. Well, just stick to talking about your family and how you didn't really want the Bridge to Nowhere and how mean everyone is to you. That's cool. I'm sure you can work that into the answer to just about any question you're asked when you finally let someone ask you a question. Yours, Megan Palin Press Relationship Gets Testy [Politico] Palin Says She's Ready To Step In As President [Breitbart] The Palin Protection Continues [Politico] Sarah Palin On Bush Doctrine: Homina, Homina, Homina [TPM Election Central] Palin "Disappointed" In "Understandable" AIG Bailout [CBS News] Excerpts from Palin's Hannity Interview - Part I [Time] Olbermann Gives $100 To Charity For Every Palin Lie, $3700 This Week Alone [Huffington Post] The Twelve Lies Of Sarah Palin [Andrew Sullivan] Palin Bars, Then Admits Reporters To Meetings [MSNBC] Palin In The City [NY Times] McCain Will Not Commit To Meeting Spanish PM [AFP] McCain Says He Would Fire SEC Chairman [AP] Palin Hawkish on Russia [Politico] Did Palin Really Fight The "Bridge To Nowhere"? [The New Republic] Palin Accuses 'Obama/Biden Democrats' Of Attacking Her Family, But Campaign Can't Name One [Huffington Post]


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She can't talk to the press because everything she says is absolute gibberish. Apparently the campaign is coaching her on talking points, but she only retains a few words and phrases, then strings them together randomly. She doesn't understand the concepts at all.

Well, she can duck the press all she wants, but the debate with Biden should be an entertaining train wreck.