Dante Moore's Rules For Female "Re-Education" Include Cooking And Staying Skinny

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Oh look! It's another dude making money off the romantic and physical insecurities of women. This time around it's a gentleman named Dante Moore (left), who has written a delightful screed called The Re-Education of the Female. No wonder he's named Dante, because his mission is hellish. Washington Post writer Laura Yao suffered through Moore's book and his presence so we don't have to, and the shit he's slinging isn't really anything new. Yao summarizes it thusly: as a woman, "Your responsibilities include cooking, staying skinny, wearing sexy things around the house and doing whatever your man tells you to do (because, Moore writes, 'Here's a little secret, ladies: men never really ask for anything. They command. . . . And believe me, what you won't do, ten broads around the corner will.')" And you know, Moore is right: his advice will probably net you a man.This man will be a complete and utter asshole, but if your end game is a man at all costs, then good luck to you, lady. Moore goes on and on about how when he was nice to women, he got no ass, but when he started being a dick, the ladies came running! In fact, if Moore is to be believed, they even throw themselves at him at book signings. "Those dudes that think their woman just comes out to get a book signed are probably in for a rude awakening. As I'm hugging them they're whispering right in my ear, so I'm loving it." Of course, Moore also indulges in some fat-hate just to further prove what a total dick he is:

The fatter you get, the more you decrease your potential single-man pool. Let me give you an example. When you go to the grocery store to shop, do you pick out the nastiest-looking, most rotten, smelliest fruit or meat you can find? Oh, you don't? Why not? . . . It's the same with men when they see baby elephant-sized, out-of-shape women.


Shockingly, a woman publishes this mess. The Re-Education of the Female Is put out by Zane, an African-American erotica author, who says she published Moore's books because she thinks "women should be forewarned and realize what's out there." Zane adds, "If he hadn't put his name on the book, I would've thought my ex-fiance wrote it." But do we really need to read a whole book from an asshole to realize that assholes exist? The conundrum is positively metaphysical! I can't even muster a lot of anger towards Moore, because I'd have to take him seriously to be pissed about his message. What I'm more pissed about is that any woman deigns to let this kind of guy touch her no no. Because that's the real tragedy here — not that he exists, but that any woman is downtrodden enough to listen to his unfortunate ramblings. Listen Up, Females. This Man Is Talking. [Washington Post] Related: Women Are Happy To Be Housewives [Telegraph]


labeled: crazy aunt kanye

Dear Dante,

In anticipation of our hook-up I've been reading a little (while getting my mani-pedi's and extensions and stuff, at home I've been working on opening the oven while wearing 6 inch platforms) so I think we're going to have an awesome time together.

There's another totally awesome female publication that has the SEXIEST SEXY SEX tips ever, and I can't wait to share some of them with you, but first I need to know your favorite candle scent.

Love & sexy ass-presses-against-your-pleats,


[BCC to Jezzies, I've suspected for some time that the candle wax on the anus tip was golden and have finally found our window of douchertunity]