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Crap Email From a Dude: '$30, and Then We're Square'

Illustration for article titled Crap Email From a Dude: $30, and Then Were Square
Illustration for article titled Crap Email From a Dude: $30, and Then Were Square

In theory, preemptive Facebook stalking should serve to help would-be blind daters avoid an awkward first encounter. In practice, it can entangle you in a web of awkwardness and obligation, and then give people you never care to speak to again a means to contact you — crappily. In today's edition of Crap Email from a Dude, witness one reader's unfortunate blind date dodge, and one whiny dude's eye roll-inducing response to her lack of interest in him.

Meet L, a longtime reader and part time lover, who had the misfortune of meeting G through mutual friends. She writes,

We have a few mutual friends, and my friend had been badgering me to go out with him for weeks. I looked at his facebook, wasn't feeling it, and told her so. She kept on bugging me, and then one day, he sends me a facebook message and says "Hi, L, I am ____. We have mutual friends. They seem to think we should meet. Maybe they know something we don't? I say, what the hell, only live once right? Hit me up." I felt a little cornered, but decided to give it a chance, since I hadn't been on a date in a while. Maybe he WAS cool.


They met, they hung out, and L wasn't feeling it. So when G asked for her "digits" via Facebook, she responded politely but directly. His response?

You know I was thinking, just a helpful hint about dating, if you don't intend to date a guy then you probably shouldn't let him pay for food. Not that the fake pretend to grab for your wallet is much better, but it makes us guys feel better about being total douchebags. Thats the kind of crap that hot chicks do all the time and its pretty irritating. So in my book you me 30$ and then we're square. That is unless you do that stuff on purpose in which case I will decline the offer for "friends" since I don't think I would be interested in a friendship, real or not, with someone who thinks like that.

Who knew that a blind date could reflect poorly on your credit history?

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Public service announcement! Guys like the one featured above - if you wish to exchange money or material goods for sex and/or companionship, hire a sex worker. People who you go on dates with are not obligated to give you sex no matter how much money you spend, unless that's been agreed in advance. Treating random women like sex workers without their prior agreement and making it clear that you expect something, hint hint, in exchange for dinner is a great way to ensure that there will be no second date.

Also, when someone agrees to go on a date with you they are not agreeing to have a relationship with you. The purpose of a date is to get to know someone, and sometimes when you do get to know someone it turns out that you don't really get along. You don't get to ask for a refund if it doesn't work out, because women are not vending machines.