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Cosmo Takes The Fun Out Of Cuddling

Illustration for article titled iCosmo/i Takes The Fun Out Of Cuddling

In its ongoing quest to add maximum self-consciousness to every facet of life, Cosmo brings us "What His Cuddling Body Language Reveals," in which you're apparently supposed to spy on your "man" while cuddling for "insight into his personality, naughty desires, and more." Because as we know, in Cosmo land, why try direct communication when there are tricks and wiles and boas!I should say, the article is very instructive — I mean, how else would you possibly know that your "man" is protective (chest-puller), emotionally detached (spooning), needy (head in lap) or takes instruction well, like an arm-wrapper? And once you know, of course, you can set about correcting and improving him — jerking him forcibly into a more sensitive position next time you lie down to watch a movie. Don't relax your guard for a moment! Why enjoy uncomplicated intimacy when you can mine every facet of your man's behavior for flaws? Of course, we totally get that it can't be fun to come up with this stuff month after month — and it's pretty harmless on its own. But besides being complete balderdash, it does seem like the cumulative effect of this kind of stuff is to strip spontaneity from every facet of a relationship, reducing the day-to-day pleasures of intimacy to a punchline on a Sex and the City episode. And seriously, aren't there enough real problems and complications and mysteries in a relationship without having to invent new ones? I foresee, in the coming days, several 15-year-old girls seriously questioning their "men's" emotional commitment based on how he holds her while they watch Batman on his mom's couch. What His Cuddling Body Language Reveals [Cosmopolitan] Earlier: Once More With Feeling: Ladymags Generate Anxiety Over Orgasm Faces


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I like spooning because I'm an ASS MAN. Period.