Cool Guy with 'Team USA' Face Tattoo Jerks-Off on Subway for Over 30 Minutes

New York police are on the look out for a man who reportedly masturbated at a woman for more than 30 minutes on a Manhattan-bound 2 train on Sunday afternoon. His identifying features are a khaki jacket, a white t-shirt, and—less obviously—a tattoo reading “TEAM USA” stamped in bold letters on his forehead. What a rich and diverse tapestry the world is!

According to DNAinfo, “the man, who can be seen in a photo released by police, had his hands in his pants while staring at a 29-year-old woman who was also aboard the train about 4 p.m., NYPD officials said.”

The situation reportedly lasted from the time he got in the train at President Street in Crown Heights until he disembarked more than 30 minutes later. In that time, his victim took his photo, which has since been tweeted out by the NYPD.


“Shouldn’t be too hard to spot,” joked the NYPD’s official Twitter account, NYPD News. (So glad these cops have a good sense of humor.)

I assume that joke is referencing this guy’s terrible facial hair. Or the distinct stains on his shirt. Or maybe it’s the TEAM USA face tattoo and what appears to be a second tattoo (patriotically, I am going to assume it’s a bald eagle or portrait of Bruce Springsteen) directly below it on his cheek. Probably not, but maybe.

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this is a citizen’s arrest!