Illustration for article titled Conservatives Make up for that Whole War on Women Business with Club Especially for Ladies

Conservatives are sorry, ladies. They're sorry about the whole "calling sexually active women on birth control sluts" thing. They're sorry about hesitating to reauthorize the Violence Against Women Act. They're sorry about passing all kinds of laws that make it much more difficult for pregnant women to choose abortion. They're sorry about not mandating maternity leave. As a token of the fact that they want you to forget this ever happened and vote for them, will you accept this special young Republicans club for ladies with a logo that looks like it was used to advertise tampons in 1994? Pwetty pweese?


So, past, present, and future baby incubators of the Republican Party, I hope you're ready for the Young Guns Network's Woman Up campaign, because it's coming for and at you this summer whether you like it or not. Designed with both short and long-term political goals in mind, the initiative aims to get conservative young women involved in the glamorous, sexy world that is center-right policymaking. According to Politico, YGW's four-pronged strategy will involve online outreach, focus groups, policy development, and economic analysis in an attempt to figure out just what it is that women want, and it's budgeted to cost somewhere in the mid-seven figure range.

The original Young Guns Network was founded by Republican legislators Kevin McCarthy, Paul Ryan, and Eric Cantor in 2007 as a way for the three middle aged political nerds to reach out to the cool youths of today. Organizers hope that this new push for the ladies will help make the GOP less of a sausage fest and more of a quilting circle, but only if the quilting circle remains quiet and lets the sausage fest make all the decisions.


It would be unfair to completely dismiss YGW as a pandering bit of substanceless desperation without knowing about what sort of policies it plans on advocating — for example, one issue the group might push is a flexible work week, which would allow women with families the ability to spend more time with their kids and less money on childcare, which sounds like a splendid idea. But before it gets around to that, YGW needs to take care of a few superficial housekeeping type things.

The logo? A disaster. It looks like it was designed by the same people who brought us the packaging for Malibu Musk, and the circular element in the design looks like a pack of birth control pills, the same birth control pills that some Republicans claiming to be "center-right" tried to obstruct access to. And announcing an organization called "Young Guns Woman Up" within days of baffling opposition to renewal of the Violence Against Women Act isn't a great idea, either, as violence against women occasionally involves guns both young and old. And the upward pointing arrow in the word Up sort of looks like the upward pointing arrow in the symbol for "male." Not to mention the fact that a logo that menstrual pad-y invites jokes about how center-right tampons only provide adequate absorbency for non-immigrants.

Maybe YGW is just what the Republican party needs to get back on track after spending the last few years running off the rails on the crazy train. But I'm not crossing my fingers.


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