Congratulations to This Woman Who Married a 300-Year Old Pirate Ghost

Andrea Teague, a 45-year old woman and Captain Jack Sparrow impersonator, gave up on the realm of living men, and married a fucking ghost in a small, private ceremony on a boat off the coast of Ireland.

The Daily Mirror reports that Teague’s new husband is a 300-year old Haitian pirate named Jack—her “soulmate.” Surrounded by friends and family, Teague and Jack exchanged vows (thanks to a spirtiual medium) in international waters so that their marriage would be legal.

Teague and Jack’s love story is like any other; the pair met in 2014, when Teague was lying in bed and felt his “energy” beside her. Their relationship progressed quickly; Teague realized that she could actually speak to the ghost and so she decided to puruse a relationship. From long car rides together to watching television in each other’s company, their love deepened.

“We became really close. The more I learned about him, the more I liked him,” Teague told the Daily Star. “One day he said to me ‘We can actually be together you know’ but I had never heard of an intimate relationship between a spirit and a human before.” While the details of the couple’s intimacies have been elided from public accounts, one imagines that their eventual sexual congress was explosive enough for Teague to forgo living dick forevermore.

Of the unorthodox marriage and relationship with a “man” who is actually a ghost, Teague said, “It is the perfect kind of relationship for me. There are a lot of people out there who don’t know about spiritual relationships, but it could be right for them. I want to get the message out there.”