Companies Trying to Sex Up Just About Everything

Nothing says “the holiday season” like brands desperate for attention at any cost! And you know what that means: GIRLS GIRLS GIRLS with BOOBS BOOBS BOOBS.

Feast your eyes upon this video featuring Miley Cyrus, clad in nothing but tights, cuddling and licking a giant blow-up heart. (Please note the clashing colors.) AdWeek assures us that this is an advertisement for seamless tights by Italian company Golden Lady. It makes a certain sort of sense—even if it seems a little risky to tie your hosiery brand to the raunched-up antics of this particular pop starlet.

It’s certainly more logical than this piece of work from Sharper Image, which comes via US Weekly:

Yup, that’s Heidi Klum, naked on behalf of an electronics company everybody thought had been out of business for years. Apparently there’s an entire “Gift Right” campaign will revolving around these sorts of double entendres. Look at her facial expression. Even she can’t believe this shit. There’s an entire behind-the-scenes video teasing all the various versions:

Again, this is for a company that makes gadgets. Not vibrators. Gadgets you’d buy while bored at the airport.