Comment of the Day: If You're Going to Be Offensive, You Might As Well Do It Right

Illustration for article titled Comment of the Day: If You're Going to Be Offensive, You Might As Well Do It Right

This morning we met a lovely gentleman by the name of George Tierney Jr, who took it upon himself to harass Sandra Fluke on Twitter. His opening line to her was, "When are you gonna shut that god damn dick sucker?" Pretty good, but according to SkaHimself, it could have been a lot better:

Dear George,

As much as fun as casually aggressive misogyny can be (and oh boy is it ever!), I'd like to share something with you:

The appropriate phrase is not "shut that god damn dick sucker".

Why? Well for two reasons:
a) "God Damn" should be Goddamn (one word)
b) It's Cock Holster, not "dick sucker".

You see Cock Holster has an air of authority about it. It screams "I am the epitome of a witty manly man". Whereas Dick Sucker says to the reader / listener "I once stole a Penthouse from my daddy's closet while he was at work". There's no power behind it. It's sad and wimpy and wilted and pathetic. Y'know, like you.

Plus Cock Holster is bound to make someone laugh. It's funny in that sad drunken Marine drill instructor sort of way. Everyone's heard "suck my dick" (I'm sure you've been saying it since you were 9). Not everyone's heard Cock Holster.

I hope you take this message to heart.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go register your email (and name) on a shitload of Craigslist personal ads - not the cool kind either. But the gross stuff kind. Butt stuff.

Have a great day!

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Kat Callahan

I submitted this for #COTD. I thought it was just that awesome.