Comment of the Day: Can We Please Stop with All the Bovine Imagery?

Illustration for article titled Comment of the Day: Can We Please Stop with All the Bovine Imagery?

Cosmo has been known to employ some very, er, abstract metaphorical language, but nothing has been worse, writes doctor donna, than the preponderance of masticating cow imagery that the magazine uses to describe some especially sensitive sex acts:

You know, I'm about to talk about one of my silliest pet peeves. I am really tired of Cosmo telling me to "graze my teeth" over body parts. Not only is it usually the worst kind of bad advice, but it calls up all sorts of non-sexual images about the verb "to graze." Like, cows graze. I just cannot and will not separate the word "graze" from "consuming plants." It's a derivative of GRASS. At best, if we INSIST upon using food-related terms to describe the action, raking one's teeth over another's flesh is a vaguely carnivorous action. "Butcher your teeth over his index finger." At least that would be the better verb for describing what is done to the penis when teeth are involved.


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I read this as "Bowtie Imagery" and panicked for a second (because bow ties are cool). Also would it hurt if a cow tried to eat you? Like a delusional cow who mistook you for grass? Actually "Attack of the Killer Cows" would make a good 50's B-movie.