Coming to an Airport Near You: The Babysitters Club

Illustration for article titled Coming to an Airport Near You: The Babysitters Club

There's a new solution for parents worried about traveling with small, truculent children: have some internet stranger else deal with them.

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A new aeronautical babysitting service called Nanny in the Clouds will watch the children of overwrought parents who want to pretend that the screaming infant on their flight doesn't belong to them, which service would be pretty convenient (especially the parents of a shitty kid that screams for like no reason) but for one small caveat: the cloud nannies aren't screened.

At least not by Nanny in the Clouds, whose libertarian policy for child safety seems to be that if parents really want to make sure their kid isn't bad-touched during a transatlantic flight, they should take the time to screen potential lap-providers themselves. The thing is, the company doesn't provide sitters, it merely connects parents with childcare pseudo-professionals who've submitted a few acceptable references. Lucky families might end up with an adorable Mary Anne Spier, a model of Up-in-the-Air efficiency who demurely scoots her penny loafers and Kid Kit through security checkpoints and, once on board, calms even the foulest-tempered Jenny Prezzioso from JFK to Heathrow. As for the not-so-lucky? They might get matched with those bad-talkin', idea-stealin' opportunists at the Baby-Sitters Agency, lighting up in the bathroom and buying duty-free booze for their shiftless boyfriends.

While not as convenient as calling Claudia Kishi's private line, parents can register with the company for free, but must pay a $10 surcharge for connecting with a nanny who just so happens to be traveling on the same flight. From there, parents and nannies work out the rest of the details, including and hourly fee, meeting place, and duration of the gig, which can go from airport check-in to forever if the parents forewent the added expense of a background check.

So, if you plan on taking your kids on a trip, forget the hassle of air travel — just hire four or five regular baby-sitters, pile them, your kids, and some of the neighbors' kids into several station wagons, and hit the road. Sea City here we come! Just keep Stacey away from the lifeguards.

Flying with kids? Hire an in-flight nanny [Fox News]

Image via Inara Prusakova/Shutterstock.

DISCUSSION

EllyVortex
EllyVortex

What??? No BSC?? I was hoping for Super Special #1248: The Babysitters Fly the Friendly Skies.

Kristy becomes a junior Sky Marshal and helps to thwart a kidnapping. She gets tour of the cockpit and her picture in the paper.

Claudia looks so sophisticated, the flight attendants serve her tiny bottles of wine. She drinks two of them and winds up drunk. She gets up in front of the cabin and does her own version of the Flight Attendant Safety Speech, which leads her to be confined to her seat for the rest of the flight. Totally stale.

Stacey falls in luv with the guy sitting next to her, an artist. He convinces her that she is his muse and tries to get her to run away with him. She waffles about it for the whole flight, and in the end she stays with the babysitters. As he walks away from her to his next flight, she is struck with the realization that she just missed the opportunity of a lifetime. Downtrodden, she goes into the nearest duty-free store and spends over $10,000 on useless gadgets like dog hammocks (she does not have a dog) and pens that can write upside down.

Mary Anne misses Logan and annoys everyone with her bitching and moaning.

Like the Romeo he is, Logan flies out to see Mary Anne and they meet in the Mile High Club. Not that one, pervs. They're perpetually 13!! The one at the airport with all of the tired business travelers. They share a milkshake and have a pizza toast to their eternal luv.

Dawn becomes obsessed with the ghost in the first class lavatory.

Jessi is discovered by a model agent and, during the span of one flight, wavers between modelling and babysitting...and decides to stay a babysitter. Until she is eighteen, at which point she wants to go to flight attendant school.

Mallory makes up crazy background stories for all of the people sitting around her in the plane. She scares herself when she daydreams that the man next to her is a psycho killer...and when she tells him about it, he doesn't deny it.

Oh yeah, they babysit some kids in there, too.