'Coach of the Year' Calls the First Lady 'Fat Butt Michelle Obama'

Will it never end?

The head football coach at an Alabama high school was caught on tape slurring the First Lady of the United States — you know, the woman MARRIED TO THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES — and, for good measure, “queers”. Lovely.

Lauderdale County High School driver’s ed teacher/football coach Bob Grisham (not sure if there’s any relation to Kevin Grisham of Rural Juror fame) (but would not be surprised) said in response to students asking who’s behind the new 600-calorie lunches:

“Fat butt Michelle Obama. Look at her. She looks like she weighs 185 or 190. She’s overweight,” Grisham’s racist ass said about the body of a woman 100,000 times more powerful than he’ll ever be.

In the tape, male voices interject comments during the discussion, at one point referring to the FLOTUS as a “fat gorilla.”

Oh, but it doesn’t end there!

Later in the tape, Grisham referred to the U.S. as going in the “wrong direction” and tells the students they can “get pissed off at me or not. You can go tell the principal, call the superintendent and tell her. I don’t believe in queers. I don’t like queers, I don’t hate them as a person, but what they do is wrong and an abomination against God.” The tape was reportedly recorded by a student Monday and took place on school campus during the school day.

Grisham got all that racist, homophobic, sexist garbage into about two minutes. There’s a reason the man was named Coach of the Year!

Now Grisham is saying he “misspoke” in a “debate-type situation.”

“I have no hatred toward anyone or any group. People that know my heart, they know that,” he said. Maybe inside his heart is a lilliputian non-racist, non-homophobic person trying to escape? This is the only explanation that seems reasonable.

Grisham was suspended on Monday, and maybe that’ll be a lesson to idiots everywhere. It’s no longer safe to spew hate publicly because everyone is carrying a video camera or tape recorder in their pockets. However, given that this happens time and time again, we’re guessing that won’t be the case.

[ Please note: Pic chosen because the FLOTUS is clearly all, “Are you mad? Because I’m not mad,” and the POTUS is all, “The lady asked, ARE YOU MAD?” Also, it’s just the best.]