Classic Glamour and Fugly Failures at the SAG Awards

Illustration for article titled Classic Glamour and Fugly Failures at the SAG Awards

Last night at the 19th annual Screen Actors Guild Awards, held at the Shrine Auditorium in Los Angeles, actors from the small screen rubbed elbows with real live movie stars, and everyone tried to effuse real Hollywood radiance. If we're getting hints about what Oscar night will look like, chances are, we won't see a quirky swan dressses or elaborate Bob Mackie headdresses: The ladies were all about classic silver screen bombshell glamour.

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Illustration for article titled Classic Glamour and Fugly Failures at the SAG Awards

There was quite a bit of black on the red carpet last night, but it was far from somber. Kelly Osbourne's studded retro gown is indicative of the dazzle.

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Illustration for article titled Classic Glamour and Fugly Failures at the SAG Awards

Black done shiny and matte: Elisabeth Moss, Claire Danes.

Illustration for article titled Classic Glamour and Fugly Failures at the SAG Awards

What's an awards show without sideboob, asks Michelle Dockery.

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While classic, black isn't always flattering: See Sigourney Weaver, Anna Gunn, JoBeth Williams. Eesh.

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Naya Rivera and Jenna Ushkowitz attempted old Hollywood steez, with the former doing a better job than the latter. And yes, that is Tyler from Vampire Diaries.

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Unadorned: Jamie Alexander. Encrusted: Clea Duvall.

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Leather: Jane Lynch, Julie Bowen.

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Bombshell babes: Amy Poehler, Tina Fey. They're both looking seriously hot lately. Every woman should long to be over 40.

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January Jones left her dinner napkin tucked in. No likey.

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Daring to be different: Julianna Margulies, Glee's Alex Newell.

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Moving up the ranks in order to be your new number one girlcrush: The flawless Morena Baccarin.

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I'd like to think Mal gave Inara this awesome lizard.

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Best black gown of the night: Anne Hathaway. Even if we have had it up to here with mesh/lace/see-through/illusion panels.

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Divine.

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Dark lace, done so-so: Jenna Elfman, Edie Falco, Angela Kinsey.

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Not black, but still deep hues on Jackie Weaver, Carmen Electra, Amber Riley .

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Metallic touches: Gloria Ruben, Gabby Douglas, Jenna Fischer.

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Midnight blues: Jessica Lange, Nicole Kidman.

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Military blue: Jennifer Lawrence .

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Splendid Egyptian blue on Amanda Seyfried's curves. Perfection: The hair, the ruffles, the necklace… So right.

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Jessica Paré picked the color of 2013, emerald.

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Also in emerald: Gretchen Mol. Busy Phillips went for shades of the sea.

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MAN BREAK! We interrupt our regularly scheduled gowns to bring you some dapper dudes. For instance: John Slattery, Jon Hamm.

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Victor Garber, Rupert Friend, Mandy Patinkin.

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Maulik Pancholy, John Krasinski, Ben the Aflac duck, Daniel Day-Lewis.

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Nolan Gould, Ty Burrell, Eric Stonestreet, Russell Crowe, Rico (and Raini) Rodriguez.

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Javier Bardem, NPH, Hal Holbrook.

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JT, the man charged with bringing sexy back.

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Delicious English toffee Eddie Redmayne.

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Aaron Paul, Harry Shum Jr., Chris Messina.

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Mark Salling, Chris Tucker, Chord Overstreet, Cory Monteith .

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Alec Baldwin… and back to the gowns: Hilaria Thomas in scarlet.

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Also in traffic-stopping red: Maria Menounos.

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Best red of the night: Jessica Chastain. True old-Hollywood elegance.

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Also, her hair looks fabulous like this. Hopefully she will never try that awful Golden Globes do again.

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Shades of crimson: Annie Parisse, Idina Menzel (with hubby Taye Diggs).

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Jane Krakowski chose apricot, while Kaley Cuoco looked oddly short in a gown the wrong length. Plus, the hair looks singed and severe. Fail.

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Kicking things up a notch in hot pink: Frieda Pinto, Nina Dobrev. Both went for modest coverage, but Nina's gown is so much better… Frieda's neckline is messy.

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Eye-popping pink on Lea Michele.

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Pretty in Pink fans: In the Lea Michele/Cory Monteith relationship, is he Duckie or Blaine?

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Vivid violet on Sally Field and Sarah Hyland.

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Awesome hair and gown: Teyonah Parris.

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Marion Cotillard picked a rather unusual dress — the hemline is all over the place — but the sash and the pockets and the French blue hue just work.

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The word that comes to mind when gazing upon Jordin Sparks: Clingy.

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Bright blues for Guiliana Rancic and Kate Flannery.

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Even brighter: Mayim Bialik, Heather Morris.

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Expanding the palette and going for goddess-draping: Viola Davis, Melissa Rauch, Shaun Robinson.

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A few different hues of green, all done well: Alexis Bledel, Melanie Lynskey, Alfre Woodard, Mackenzie Aladjem.

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Solid gold: Jennifer Garner. Glam.

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Moving away from the brights and on to the softer hues, Kiernan Shipka was pretty as a picture in pale pink.

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Ariel Winter: Princessy and age-appropriate.

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Ellie Kemper: Minty fresh but kind of meh.

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Sweet, whispery-light pastels: Rose Byrne, Aubrey Anderson-Emmons, Zuleikha Robinson.

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Neutral, but not boring: Kerry Bishe, Jennifer Westfeldt, Katrina Bowden.

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Variations on the soft/neutral theme: Victoria Rowell, Renee Bargh, Meg Chambers Steedle.

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Yes, Julianne Moore. Yes.

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Mesmerizing mermaid chic: Julia Stiles.

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Silvery icy gorgeousness on Naomi Watts.

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Naomi and Liev look so good together! Helen Hunt was also silvery, sparkly and great.

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Dig the accessories, Vanessa Lengies.

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Bombshell of all bombshells, in white: Sofia Vergara. Head for cover.

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Even prettier was the white gown on Jayma Mays. Paillettes!

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But my pick for best white dress? The almost-but-not-quite bridal number on Kerry Washington. Bustier, lace, details, can't knock the bustle. Sublime. Her only crime? The closed-toe shoe.

Images via Getty.

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DISCUSSION

steamforged
steamforged

Jessica Chastain is gorgeous, but I'm reminded of advice I was given as a small red-headed child: redheads should never wear red. Is that wrong? Or outdated, or something?