Romney Hosts Chris Christie and Marco Rubio at Deeply Weird Sleepover

Illustration for article titled Romney Hosts Chris Christie and Marco Rubio at Deeply Weird Sleepover

In a scene torn straight from your most unsettling sexual nightmares, former presidential candidate Mitt Romney hosted New Jersey Governor Chris Christie and Florida Senator Marco Rubio at his house for a sleepover. “It was fun,” Rubio told reporters the next day, while we all shuddered, suddenly chilled to the bone by a nameless, creeping horror.


The Associated Press reported Friday that Romney would be hosting the two Republican presidential contenders at his New Hampshire property. Christie and Rubio both marched the next day in a Fourth of July parade in Wolfeboro, part of their sudden, intense and short-lived interest in the state of New Hampshire. Rubio’s camp declined to comment on the overnight, while Christie told, “I suspect there might be a little politics discussed tonight with Mitt and Ann, but me and Mary Pat, and Andrew and Sarah are really happy that Mitt and Ann invited us to stay with them tonight.” Romney’s endorsement is deeply sought after by all the Republican candidates, for some reason.

At the parade, according to Bloomberg Politics, Rubio was tight-lipped about what we can only imagine was an evening filled with footie pajamas and passive-aggressive jabs about how the sincerity of the other man’s love for the Constitution.

“We ate hamburgers and hot dogs, then we went out for ice cream,” Rubio said. He studiously continued to avoid mentioning Christie’s name, while Christie tweeted this sweaty gem:

Very sporting, except “marcorubiofla” isn’t anyone’s Twitter handle, especially not Marco Rubio’s. Is this... are we witnessing... shade? Paging Judge Brown for an immediate ruling.

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Image via AP


Chris Christie needs a makeover. His pants are too high or something.

In contrast, Marco Rubio looks fratastic and not presidential.